I’ve attempted to communicate with my roommates about volume issues for quite a while now. The general consensus we’ve come to is that I’m fine with them having guests over late into the night so long as they’re quiet, as I prefer getting my rest when I can due to my internal clock (I almost always wake up at 7 am or after around 5/6 hours of sleep). If I’m able to rest at 9/10pm like i usually do, I’m fine and they can be as loud as they want, as I’m usually fast asleep by then.
The issue is that despite me communicating my issues and trying to be explicit about my issue, they seem to just ignore it and be absurdly loud late into the night for no reason other than just because they want to. On nights where I don’t work the following morning, it’s fine, as I don’t have to wake up early-ish and be ready for work. I communicate when and what hours I work often, so I can’t really chalk it up to them not knowing or not remembering. But for the most part it happens on work nights. Whenever I ask them to lower the volume, I’m met with "Okay/We’ll try." and quiet for a small period of time before they inevitably raise their volume again. I’ve tried talking to them before
about it, and they usually end up apologizing. As rude as it might sound, I don’t really accept them. I understand not having control over larger events or more significant ones, but they’re usually small hangouts between mutual friends that have no real reason to get so loud.
For example: Tonight it is a mutual friend’s birthday, so I understand their volume and excitement. As much as I’d rather they keep it down, it’s a birthday, so of course they’re going to have fun. Events like this I try to have more understanding for. I also understand that our walls are thin, so I will hear them to a certain extent regardless. But there are times where they just have the friends over and they get super loud late into the night for absolutely no reason.
Every time I ask them to quiet down a bit I can literally hear my messages said out loud and the others responding, so I know they don’t fall on deaf ears. It’s annoying, and makes me feel as though they don’t really care to respect my wishes. It’d be one thing to say straight up that they won’t bother, but to keep apologizing after the fact, yet constantly enabling and encouraging the behavior despite my attempts to rectify the issue? It makes me want to reconsider my approach and my decisions to try and peacefully dissolve the situation, especially if what I’m asking for isn’t really hard to achieve. I’m not asking for, say, the entire house to be dead silent, just that they monitor their voices a bit to not go above a certain level (or at least, one that keeps me up until 6 am in the morning when I work at 9 😞).
Please let me know. AITA for starting to lose my patience with my roommates? Any and all takes are welcome, as I’d like to know how to approach this.
NTA, cohabitation is about cooperation and being respectful of each other – which they are not doing.
Were gonna believe this guy???
NTA, but I can tell you from experience that a full and permanent change is unlikely no matter how you respond. A rolled up towel pressed against the base of the bedroom door, earplugs, and maybe a white noise generator are your best hope for getting a good night’s sleep. There are also sound-deadening materials that you can install on walls that might help.
That’s just rude you are not the only one who lives there
Your roommates must hate you you making so many waves rn for why???