Girlfriend (F, 26) and I (M, 37, not sure the age gap matters but I’m ready to hear that it does) have been dating for 3 years and living together for 3 month and I’d say everything is generally going well. I run a small business with a small team and she is currently between jobs (has been for 4 months), so she doesn’t have any obligations apart from going to the physiotherapist every 2-3 days for 1 & 1/2 hours due to a knee surgery she had 3 months ago (the knee is fine, but it can feel sore after walking a lot) (commuting time to the physiotherapist is about 1hr total, so this takes 2 1/2 hours all in all on the days where it occurs).
I’d say as a general rule we are pretty equal in terms of chores and I make it clear that she doesn’t have to clean the apartment without me, that we can do that on weekends (she does end up choosing to clean more than me and doing more laundries these days, I believe, which I often acknowledge and thank her for). Whenever she comes home late because of such or such activity she had, the table is dressed, the dinner is ready, to me that’s basic.
For two weeks we’ve had large orders to process at work, she knows all about it, I’ve been working through the entire weekend, still every night before coming home, I ask if something is needed that I can pick up on the way home (I do it because we are no longer in the 60s and she is not supposed to be a housewife, but to be honest I feel like when there’s so much difference in the available time I shouldn’t be the one having to run errands after my workday). And we usually cook together when I’m back at a reasonable time, and I usually do the dishes afterwards a little more often than her, but here again, it feels equal enough.
Yesterday I got home, after picking up errands, arrived around 9 PM, she was wrapping christmas presents for her family and nothing was ready for dinner. I dressed the table, prepared the starters, in her defense she had half-prepared a vegetable soup that remained to be blended. I was mad the rest of the night because I was expecting more, and also because it’s not the first time it happened lately.
I feel like adding that whenever she asks for something (a bicycle, a piece of furniture, small items she needs, a massage, I usually arrange to get those within a couple days) or when things need to be fixed around the house, I get that done too. Don’t want to give the impression she does nothing, she fixed a few things around the apartment since we moved in, and made the place more pleasant to live in
AITA ?
EDIT : a bit more context : every night when I get home I say I’m tired, and everynight before going to bed, she says she isn’t…