I am a fairly new dnd player and had started a campaign with a group of longterm friends about 2ish years ago now. The dm was the only experienced player besides his wife and had asked myself and another couple with no dnd experience to start a campaign together. Shortly after we started my new boyfriend another experienced player joined us. So we were largely inexperienced but overall very excited to play. We had very infrequent sessions often because the third couple (the other two inexperienced players) in the group cancelled last minute. Now I am the mutual friend that kinds of connects all of our friendships so I did try and encourage them to reschedule and we were meeting around once a month. However, around a year ago they cancelled again and we have not been able to successfully reschedule and myself and the dm and his wife have kind of given up on the idea. Now we are all still in contact and I thought on good terms but for the past 6 months or so my dm/friend has been very cold and kind of ignores me. He still talks to my boyfriend as he is in another campaign with him that he joined shortly after joining our original one but treats him overall very different than myself. I did attempt to confront him about this but he simply stated there is nothing wrong and he’s not upset with me. And we just had a Friendsgiving that was a lot of fun and definitely made me feel better about our relationship. I found out at the party that he was starting a new campaign with the other two couples that were at Friendsgiving besides myself and my boyfriend. Then I found out today through one of the players in the new campaign that he was restarting the exact same campaign/story that he had been doing with my group. Now I completely understand not wasting that material and restarting the campaign with more willing participants. But what I’m pissed about is that I wasn’t told about this. I was nothing but willing in the original campaign and I think it is rude he didn’t let me know or offer to let me join. I haven’t asked him about this yet cause I genuinely don’t know if it’s something I can be mad at about. But I AITA for thinking I should be included in the new campaign just because I was in the original one that fell apart?
Mmm YWBTA. His coldness and distance is him trying to tell you he doesn’t want to be friends with you/interact with you without hurting your feelings by bluntly saying it.
NTA, he’s the DM, he can control the game, but on a friend level, if he’s being weird and cagey with you but won’t tell you why when you directly ask him, that’s just not good communication. I get why you’d feel left out here, if he at least communicated with you that would have worked a lot better
NAH. Its been a year, he may have forgot. It seems issue is he is more friendly with the person he plays with more regularly? Isn’t that a duh?
Not to mention: OP introduced the two players who flaked. While it wasn’t OP’s fault, OP may have gotten lumped in with the flakes in the DM’s head.
Also – if he’s got five players, that may be the most he wants in a game. Most DMs I know prefer parties of 4/5 and think anything larger gets too slow, especially if there’s new players in the mix.
It’s NAH for now, but if OP makes any kind of a fuss about it, or reads it as The Pronouncement On The Friendship without actually talking to the DM about it, then OP would be an AH.
OP: Go play a few games at a local game store to get experience and demonstrate real interest, then go back to your friend DM and say ‘next time you run a campaign, can I join? I’ve played a bunch, but it would be more fun with friends!’
If I’m the DM and your BF is having a regular game with me and you NEVER mention resuming yours, I’m just gonna assume DND ain’t your thing and I’m not gonna bring it up again. Not even that you introduced me to flakers, you just aren’t that motivated and thats cool.
I would assume your boyfriend is telling you how awesome it is!
I’m going to assume that there was no side sessions where you continued without the flakey couple. So alongside this flakey couple, YOU also cancelled on the DnD. The DM probably associated them flaking with you, the mutual friend.
When was the last time you showed interest in being part of an active campaign?
Meanwhile, your bf is meeting him frequently for the other campaign and engaging with him on DnD so of course he’s been better friends with the DM.
The campaign is the DM’s hard work. How is he to know that you would want to participate in that same story when you weren’t a frequent participant in the original one.
YTA
I mean, if you played the campaign for a year, then I would assume that you know spoilers and stuff. Either that, or he has changed things and doesn’t want to be bound to what he did the first time around. Either one is a legitimate reason to want to start over with a clean slate and new players when he reruns this campaign. The initial run failed and fizzled out; it happens. Rather than getting hung up on the fact that he is playing that campaign specifically with other people, you should let him know that you’re interested in playing with him in the future in whatever other game he may put together. Then do not push him about it. Assuming it is true that you guys are good and assuming he does want to play with you more, he’ll let you know where you fit in. If he doesn’t, that is your signal to find other people to play with. NAH so far, but you would be if you tried to insert yourself.
Can you join the campaign that your bf is a part of?
NTA. I’m not a DnD player, but I understand enough to know that it’s a commitment from all parties involved and also that you genuinely seemed keen.
YTA. The campaign ended. This is a new on and there is no requirement that he offer you as seat let alone tell you he is doing this.