We were supposed to spend the weekend in a couple cabins but ended up cancelling due to bad weather. My husband then invited everyone to our house instead without asking with me first with less than 24 hours notice. We have all been sick for a week so the house is a mess, also he works so won’t be able to help clean and get ready. Also my kid has surgery next week that I’m trying to mentally stay ready for to be there for her best I can because it’s a lot and I’m nervous about it, we booked camping months before we knew she would need a double eye surgery the following week after camping. I also sleep on my daughters floor when we have company because I want to keep her safe and had a traumatic childhood so basically cannot sleep unless I’m next to her keeping her safe with overnight guests over. So I was annoyed I wasn’t going to be getting good rest before her big week and being sick myself ontop of it. After fighting for 24 hours he begrudgingly cancelled on them last minute, which does make me look bad and like I’m the asshole.
NTA. He should have asked YOU before he even invited them
Asked OP. And have been available to help clean as minumum if he got a green light.
NTA, he should have asked you first, he assumed you would do all the work, had no regard for your child’s upcoming surgery or your responsibilities. Plus it sounds like he threw you under the bus when he canceled, or no one would be aware that it wasn’t a mutual decision.
This is where you say “yes darling,” rent a hotel room for yourself and your daughter, and leave your husband to it.
No need to fight for a day.
NTA.
He should never have committed without asking you first. So he’s the AH for that alone.
But he should have known better himself, because he knows the surgery schedule, right? He knows about her trauma, right? He’s aware that he hasn’t pitched in to clean up the house for HIS guests, right?
If he put the blame on you instead of himself (or at least blaming the surgery) then he’s a triple AH.
He should have just told them he forgot about the surgery.
NTA but I’d recommend you get some therapy for different coping skills before you pass trauma onto your daughter. How long are you planning on sleeping in her room to protect her? It sounds like you shouldn’t be having guests at this point, period, and that is something you need to address with your spouse.