My sister went to my room to ask me to lend my phone charger which I paid for, to her with her reasoning being that she requires it to charge her laptop because she left her laptop charger at an entirely different location outside the house, and she apparently needs to do important work.
Now the thing is, I would be willing to lend it to her, but given the fact that when I lended things I own many times, such as different types of cables, monitors, and powerbanks to my sister, virtually every time, she doesn’t bother returning it to me. Instead, she either leaves it abandoned when she doesn’t need to use it, and I have to go fetch those things back, or if she cares enough, she tells me to go find the item to get it back, and when I ask her to give it to me, she makes excuses about how I can just get it myself.
This already annoyed me, so I decided to go stricter by refusing to hand out my items to her anymore. When I said no, she started talking about how she always pays for the food whenever I go travelling with her, but she hasn’t really done the paying for the food in a while as she said I should just go pay for it myself. She told me "lending items don’t cost money, but paying for your food does", and I told her that this doesn’t nessescarily justify forcing someone and guilt tripping them to lend over items when they have a good reason not to. I decided to then call over my parents to have a say on this situation.
My parents told me that I should just lend over the charger to her, and I hesitantly complied. I felt like I still have to pay her back for the times she used to pay for the food I ate when I travelled with her, but she has significantly more money than me and she can buy those items herself instead of constantly borrowing from me, then negligently never informingwhen she doesn’t need to use it anymore, showing no appreciation at all.
How old are you?
But if you paid for it, let her charge it while in your room..
She has a history of not returning items. That’s fair
NTA but maybe get some collateral from her. Doesn’t matter what it is just as long as it’s something important to her. The issue isn’t letting her borrow it’s having to ask for it back and retrieve it yourself. I’m guessing by the sounds of it you two are still teenagers. Your parents should be teaching her the importance of returning things. I’m sure in the moment they just felt like y’all were being petty kids and rolled their eyes but if you explained why you felt that way they’d hopefully listen and understand.
This has strong teenage siblings energy.
Next time, tell her to charge it in your room so you know where it is. If she has a problem, she can go buy her own or borrow your parents’ since she has the money.
NTA, she could use some of that food money to buy her own damned charger.
y’all don’t have 10 billlion usb c cords in your house? buy more electronics to solve that issue.
NTA
She tells you no to the food buying and the world doesn’t come to an end. What do you think will happen to the world if you refuse to lend her your charger? Yeah, a whole lot of nothing.
Tell her when she demonstrates repeatedly she has learned to be responsible with her own items, then she may borrow yours, though I suspect by then she won’t have to.
“Yes, you can use it, but only in my room”.
Ma’am! Just say no! Stop justifying yourself it only opens the door for her to argue. You asked your parents?! You had to know they were going to tell you share, it’s yours you bought it you get to decide who uses it. Or doesn’t. NTA.
NTA.
But let this be a lesson: NEVER call parents to mediate, they will always pick the “but family” choice.
Besides, you two should take responsibility for your relationship. Calling mom and dad is immature.
You, in particular, have to take responsibility for your choices. You don’t want to lend your charger, say no and stand your ground even if that makes you the bad guy to someone.
“ no I don’t lend my items out because I find that I don’t get them back. “
Never lend anything to your sibling unless you take something hostage in return.
NTA
Buy her one for her birthday and tell her yours is now off limits.
No is a complete sentence. You have every right to refuse to lend her your things due to her previous disregard for your stuff.