i’m 17 and like 2 months ago i started therapy for something that happened to me. art ended up being the only thing that really helped. i do digital art but i’ve never posted it or really saved it anywhere.
a week ago my friend “lacey” messaged me saying she saw the art on my phone and that it was “harmful” and “disgusting” and basically said i had some fetish. i kinda lost it on her and sent like 15 long messages bc i couldn’t believe she said that or maybe even went thru my phone. she left me on read so i thought that was it.
then a few days later my other friend “kyle” dm’d me asking what was going on and sent a screenshot of some groupchat. lacey had sent almost half of my art in there, told them i made it, and there were like 12 ppl in the chat. some i barely know. i was terrified bc yeah without context the art looks bad which is why i kept it private
i messaged lacey again and she said people “deserved to know how gross i am.” i know the drawings look weird bc of what i went thru and how complicated everything feels but it was the only thing that made me feel a little better and now I do feel kinda gross. AITA??
how did she get the art from your phone onto hers?
I said in the story that she probably went through my phone. We had a sleep over a 2 days before everything went down, so that’s the only window that she could have had it without me noticing
since op claims not to know, could have texted them to herself and deleted the messages from ops phone
Lacey is not a friend. At face value people your age will probably find the art weird/judge you. You can explain to your actual friends that they were private works you created to process a personal trauma, and that Lacey stole them. True friends will understand.
It’s really shitty that your personal business got exposed like this.
Yes, it’s important that they know she stole the art. She is the only one deserving of judgment here.
I’m sorry this happened to you, and likely added to your trauma, OP. Art is absolutely a valid method of processing difficult emotions. You did not deserve to have your privacy violated. Talk through what happened with your therapist.
Cut ties with Lacey. She is immature, judgmental and untrustworthy. These are not the traits of a friend. And find a way to lock down your phone further.
how did she get the art off your phone to share? do you let her use your phone?
NTA. I went through a period of drawing people dying from suicide because it helped me to take the thoughts out of my head.
NTA
How did she get your art? Be extra careful with your devices. If anyone asks about it, tell them you were trying it out to vent. Tell them that no one was ever meant to see it, because you’d left it behind.
You can even lie if you want and say it’s a lot older or that it came out a lot worse than you were actually feeling.
NTA. Art is your therapeutic tool, not her gossip material.Please don’t feel “gross” because of her [words.You](http://words.You) are bravely trying to heal.
NTA and that’s a major violation of privacy and what she is doing is bullying a socially ostracized you for engaging in a form of art therapy (Definitely bring up this is something youve been formally encouraged to do by your therapist as a way to work through trauma), which you can and should explain openly to your friend group in a new group and explain that she went through your device and took those screenshots without consent and if she continues to escalate her harassment and defamation in regards to this issue then you won’t tolerate being around her and will block her/potentially report her.
Edit: would like to add, definitely note to them that if she is willing to violate your privacy and talk shit to others behind your back about your vulnerable information then she will absolutely do it to them if given the chance.
NTA and I don’t think lacey is your friend. Friends don’t do stuff like that.
This is such a huge violation. I would never let that person beat me again.
NTA and I hope you’re able to move beyond feeling gross for this. Creating art is one of the most healing ways of processing difficult emotions. I had a close mentor who taught me vital life lessons and then was arrested for a horrible crime, and I wrote a story to deal with the betrayal, guilt, and doubt that I was feeling as a result. There are parts of that story that people would probably judge me for if they read it without knowing why it was written, which is why it stays private. But, I wrote it, and I feel more at peace now. I’m sorry this happened to you but hope you keep creating.
Nope nope nope nope nope. Your privacy was violated, full stop. By someone that seemingly has had too happy a life to understand that sometimes people find solace in darkness. I’m tempted to give you a list of artists to send to this person, so they can understand what “tortured artist” actually means. But that would require you contacting them, which you should already have them blocked, so fuck that.