Small back story. Best friend of many years use to buy Christmas gifts for each other up until 2 or 3 years ago when they got married. We would always get together with some other slightly older mutual friends that also always gave gifts. Nothing crazy, just something to say hey, I saw this and thought of you. $20-$30 sometimes a little more. Now said friend and new partner don’t want to do gifts but everyone else still buys for each other. I don’t have an issue with them not buying gifts but they insist that nobody else buy gifts either. I dont feel like it’s their call to make the others who enjoy exchanging gifts feel guilty about it. AITA?
NTA,
Imo if she’s no longer comfortable giving or receiving gifts then fine but to make everyone else stop exchanging gifts just bc she and her partner don’t want to is kinda selfish. If y’all want to continue exchanging gifts do it. Do it till y’all are 100 if that’s what makes you happy if she don’t like it that’s her problem. If she continues to make a fuss about it maybe that’s your cue to cut ties with her.
The people that want to exchange gifts can and those that don’t want to can opt out of giving and receiving. Maybe just have the gifters arrive 30 mins early or stay 30 mins late and so that nobody feels awkward sitting around not taking part.
OK, they don’t want to exchange gifts. That’s fine, but they don’t get to dictate what everyone else does.
Plan the gift exchange with everyone else for a time when those two aren’t present.
NTA.
If I’m reading this right and you’re exchanging gifts with the other friends who want to exchange gifts, then NTA. If you’re still buying gifts for people who have said that they don’t want that, then that’s different, but it doesn’t seem like that’s what you’re doing.
No. The couple that doesn’t want gifts want everyone else to quit as well.
NTA. I would just say “gifts are absolutely not obligatory, but those who want to exchange gifts are free to.”
NTA. They can’t dictate who exchanges gifts. Fair point they don’t want to but if everyone is happy to still do then do it. She’s TAH and her husband
NTA. They are free to opt out themselves but unless they are the Grinch they don’t get to cancel Christmas for every who!
NTA. They do not have to participate but they in no way get to tell others what to do. Trying to be that controlling over something that has nothing to do with them is going to result in them loosing friends.
What brought this on? Are they going through hard times economically and can’t buy gifts? If that’s the case I could see why they would feel bad seeing everyone else doing the exchange while they can’t join in.
They can’t dictate what others do, though.
NTA.
Maybe it’s time for those who wish to give gifts to schedule a separate event.
NTA. Two people don’t get to dictate what the group does. I’d send a message asking who wants to participate. Then work out how you want to do it based on the number opting in. Tell this friend if she wants her decision to not gift be respected she needs to extend the same courtesy and respect the decision of those who chose to gift.
U know why I understood their point . They don’t want owing anybody anything . Believe financial responsibility up . Except u group friends has small meeting agreed for gifts exchanging , doing within the circle ya .