I (M21) have been friends with Matt (M22) since we we’re 11, and ever since we met it’s always been his house where we’d go to hang out. Because of this I, I saw his mum quite a lot, and she ended up helping me through some difficult times when I was around 14 because I didn’t feel comfortable talking to my own parents about them.
She is a very kind women and j respect her a lot, so when I happend to be in my hometown (I live a couple of hours away now, due to work) around the same time as her birthday, I decided to drop round a bunch of flowers. We had a small chat, I wished her happy birthday, and then I left.
However, a couple of hours after this happend, I get a call from Matt and he’s shouting into the phone calling me a ‘dickhead’ and mainly just grumbling incoherently. After he’s calmed down and I ask what the hell he is going on about, he tells me that he forgot it was his mums birthday, so me getting her flowers makes him look like a bad son.
I tell him I’m sorry I made him look bad, but it isn’t my fault he forgot. He tells me he thinks I’m ‘full of shit’ and he hangs up. I sit there in confusion for a while, because I genuinely have no idea why he’s so upset at me, but I push it to the back of my mind. That’s until I receive a text from one our mutual friends about how ‘it’s gross you’re still trying to get in Matt’s mum’s pants even now’, which is both untrue, and gross of them to suggest when I was just being nice.
So reddit, AITA for getting my friends mum a birthday gift and making her son ‘look bad’ for not getting her one???
(Edit: For all the people asking if I want to bang Matt’s Mum. I do not. I am gay.)
NTA he is embarrassed. He is lashing out at you.
NTA. You got someone a gift. How are you supposed to know that he forgot? Also it’s still her birthday he can still go and get her a gift if he wanted to.
NTA, but sounds like you need more mature friends
NTA OP, it was a nice gesture of you to get your friend’s Mom flowers for her birthday. Don’t listen to your friend or your mutual friend because what you did was nice.
NTA, you did something nice for a friend’s mom. Your friend forgot her birthday and is taking it out on you, it’s called transferance.
Matt was originally angry because you one upped him by remembering his mom’s birthday when he forgot. It wasn’t because he assumed your gift was romantic. But he tried to turn it around on you by implying to his friend that you wanted to get with his mom, which is disgusting. Why are you friends with him, other than for having a nice mom? NTA
Something happened a couple of years ago that caused me to lose quite a few friends, and Matt was one of the only people who stuck with me through that. Also because of what happend, I find it pretty hard to make new friends, so the thought of cutting things off with Matt seems kinds scary ig 🤷♂️
NTA. Sounds like mats a bit butt hurt that you would be a better son than him. Sounds like you did a nice thing for his mom.
Is this a joke? In what possibly scenario would you be TA here? I don’t understand most of the posts here anymore.
Obviously NTA.
I think a lot of people post on here to help validate their own feelings. I do not think I am the asshole, but I am also aware that if I have upset someone, I should make sure that I am not in the wrong, this post has helped me check that this is not some mistake I’ve made that I’ve just completely missed. I can be quite oblivious at times.
The only person who is an asshole here is your friend. He made himself look bad. That’s on him. It’s not your fault he’s a shitty son.
What you did is force him to confront his own failings, and that makes a lot of people uncomfortable and they struggle to deal with it. His excuse for his actions is to accuse you of having a romantic interest in his mom, because in his mind it absolves him of responsibility.
NTA, he doesn’t just look like a bad son…
Does Matt’s mom got it going on?
I don’t think Matt or his cronies are friends of yours at least not anymore. You were doing something nice for a lady who has been nice to you and a sounding board for your problems. Not your problem that Matt is behaving like some yob all because he didn’t remember his mum’s birthday. NTA