Context: We (me and some friends) were all sitting at a communal table eating. Apparently I was eating too close to my plate, and my friend, let’s call her X jokingly started mocking me. I chuckled, fixed my posture and kept eating. But after that, in the span of a multiple days, X kept mocking me about tiny details such as how I sat or drank. Normally, I would acknowledge my flaws, fix them and move on, but this time I felt like it was really unnecessary to mock me instead of just telling me directly or even just not saying anything. Anyways, skip a few weeks and we’re talking through chat, and we’re sharing things we could improve about each other (glow up tips), when I mention the mocking thing. I say how I felt kind of bad, since I’m kind of insecure (generally), and that mocking may have not been the right choice of humor for that particular situation.
Now here’s where it starts: X apologizes, promises to stop, I thank her and move one. BUT THEN she proceeds to reason WHY she did it, which apparently was:
1. It was bugging her
2. The table was quiet and she wanted to liven the mood
3. Other people were apparently "judging" me and she just didn’t want anyone to talk behind my back.
Now, I made multiple arguments –
For Argument 1, I said that she could have just said it directly, instead of mocking me
For Argument 2 I said that she could have either just talked about something else or mocked someone else for once (btw Number 2 shouldn’t even have been valid since that was only on 1 of multiple days)
And for Number 3 I said that she couldn’t have known that and that I don’t really care if somebody talks behind my back.
After this, I said that in that situation she came off as "mean and a bit of a bully". This escalated the situation, and I eventually said that she should have just shut up and kept her argument to herself – She then made an argument about this violating her "freedom of speech", and our conversation ended quickly after.
I don’t really know who was in the wrong here, or if I was too soft, which is basically the topics I’m trying to be enlightened on. This may also be just a rant, and I’m sorry if this isn’t the right subreddit.
P.S. – I don’t really know if this violates 5.3, and I apologize in advance if it does
NTA. So all of her arguments are bullshit.
Argument 1 (it was bugging her): so what? How someone else was sitting was bothering her THAT much? She needs to worry about herself.
Argument 2 (livening the mode): how is picking on someone else livening the mode? It’s actually just straight up rude.
Argument 3 (someone talking about it behind your back): if someone was going to gossip about you because you were slouching, they really need to get a life.
Overall, your friend sucks and you didn’t do anything wrong by pointing it out. If she can’t acknowledge how she was wrong and apologize, she’s not a great friend to begin with.
nta, your friend is a bully. Also, freedom of speech protects you against censorship from the government, its irrelevant in private conversations
NTA for saying your friend was mocking you when you felt mocked at the particular manner in which you were sat eating your food and sipping on your beverage.
so X apologized then immediately started defending herself with three different reasons, which kinda defeats the purpose of an apology doesnt it. the freedom of speech thing at the end is particularly funny because thats not what freedom of speech means, its just her trying to shut down the conversation when she got called out for being mean