My mother came to live with us for a few weeks when I was about to give birth. I soon realized that my mother and my husband have very different values. They had a lot of disagreement . My mother is very opinionated and outspoken, she would pass comments, taunts, judgements over anything she doesn’t like, my husband is also very opinionated and doesn’t take anything lying down. I sat with each of them individually and together to resolve things and asked them not to argue as it affected my mental health (my parents used to fight a lot growing up so I get anxious around loud noises and arguments). None of them backed down though.
In our last visit, I was told to get hospitalized for induction of labor. When we came back home to gather our things, I remember thinking to myself that I’m finally going to meet my baby, nothing can go wrong now…and the moment I came out…my mother was pissed about something and kept passing mean comments about my husband and his family, I kept telling her to stop. My husband tried to keep quiet for a bit but after a few minutes he erupted, he said some pretty mean things to her (about my parents fighting and all) which I had told him in vulnerability, I felt betrayed and hurt, my mother told me I had betrayed her by telling that stuff to my husband. I completely lost my shit and I screamed and cried for hours, to the point that doctor had to intervene and calm me down. I could only stop crying when the labor pain kicked in as it distracted me from the mental agony.
I asked that either of them leave because I couldn’t handle it…Both of them refused to leave. After my baby was born, we were all together for another month and things were a little weird. My mom refused to talk to my husband… and there was this uncomfortable air around everyone. Both of them kept to themselves. We had already hired professional help for cleaning, cooking and a nanny. My mom cooked postpartum meals for me and help me a lot with the baby but she refused to take proper meals, I begged to her to eat and take care of herself but she just wouldn’t listen. Whenever anyone came to visit she would tell them how much she hates it here and she is never coming back ever and she has lost weight.
She told everyone in the family and friends about this, and everyone has been distant with me ever since. A cousin that lives 20 mins from me and used to spend every weekend together, completely cut me off as she was of opinion that nothing is more important than parents, and that I should have divorced my husband like my mother wanted (she said this a day after I gave birth). I have known these people 30 years of my life and no one even bothered to ask my side of the story. It has been 1 year, barely anyone calls me, I tried to contact a couple of times but I could sense they were ignoring me so I stopped calling too. My mother has kind of distanced herself too.
I often keep wondering if I was wrong here.