Throwaway for obvious reasons.
So for context, I used to struggle with a cocaine addiction. I’ve been clean for a while now, but my mom still loves to call me an addict every chance she gets. The ironic part? When I was using, she would occasionally ask me for some. I was in a messed up place back then, so yeah… I’d give it to her. I did it about 3-4 times. Not my proudest era.
Fast forward to recently.. I had my wisdom tooth surgery. She drops me off at home afterward and before leaving asks if I “have any to spare.” I told her that I don’t use anymore. Didn’t matter. She still treats me like I’m lying every time.
A few days later I asked her if she could watch my son because I had to work. She said no at first… but then calls me back and says she’ll babysit if I give her drugs.
I was honestly stunned. Like, my jaw was on the floor. I told her never mind, I’d just keep him with me. She’s never asked me anything like this before.
So I told her straight up that it’s funny how she calls me an addict when she’s out here acting like a literal crackhead trying to trade babysitting for drugs. I’ve never even bartered or solicited myself or my services for drugs so to say appalled was an understatement. She got really offended and started ranting at me about my past, how I “can’t talk,” etc. I hung up because I’m tired of the cycle.
Now I feel a little guilty for using that word because she has struggled with addiction too… but at the same time, I’m so fed up with being judged and accused when I’m the one who’s clean now.
AITA for finally snapping and calling her out?
NTA.
I wouldn’t want her around my kid while she was high anyway.
Yes, I definitely do not want my child around that. I just can’t believe she said something like that I guess.
First up congrats on your abstinence. It’s not easy. But you’re not clean now because you were never dirty, no drug users are.
It’s actually appalling that she’d expose you to these kind of triggers for her own recreational use. If she wants it so bad she can go and find her own dealer and not try to compromise your new found sobriety. To tie it to care of her grandchild is abhorrent and genuinely concerning.
NTA, in no way.
Thank you, and yes it feels very triggering that is what I was explaining to my grandma on the phone earlier.
I really didn’t expect her to ask such a question honestly, nor was I prepared for that.
Why would you leave your kid in the care of someone you KNOW USES DRUGS?? YTA for that. WTF are you thinking??
Obviously I am not if I told her I am keeping him with me.
She has never been high around my son, I am not sure where you see me stating that.
You knew that she was a drug user before you asked her to watch your child.
She’s watched him sober, not high. There’s a difference. And the moment she crossed that line, she didn’t get him. I’m not sure where the outrage is supposed to be.
She doesn’t have access to cocaine, I AM her access to it – if I don’t have it she does not either, which is why she always asks me. My mom knows absolutely nobody down here, and does not socialize – she is in the house 24/7 – there is no way for her to have access to it – the ending point being she’s broke as fuck and can’t even afford it. I am telling you this woman is 100% sober and clean when watching him, and the only time she has done it is when I have gave it to her for FREE, and that is one thing I am confident in.
She is not high when she is with my son, she does not have cocaine unless I give it to her.
But it’s the fact you know she uses drugs. At this point, it’s *when* she’ll use it around him. YTA for considering putting your son in potential harm’s way
NTA to try an throw your past back in your face while they are literally asking for drugs in exchange for babysitting their grandchild is wild.
NTA. Calling her out is not a bad thing.
NTA. I can’t think of a much more polite way to describe it. I mean now that you had time to calm down, in what other way would you express your profound disappointment in a way that conveys how that came across?
PLEASE don’t let that woman around your child. I’m sorry, I know this is a blow; but if she’s actively trying to score, then she’s already using and addicted. Please leave her until she gets well, both for you and your child. NTA.
NTA. Congrats on your sobriety. That is a really big deal and the fact you’re working and raising a baby now is beautiful. Your mom is super unhealthy mentally. To still call you an addict when you’ve worked to not use and she’s trying to push you in that direction with her asking for drugs. Shocking. Just shocking. Think I’d put some space between her and you for awhile.