I (f,25) have a lot of family issues. I haven’t had a good Christmas since I was 18 years old. I’ll go over some of the main highlights as to why Christmas has gone so horribly throughout the years.
When I was 19 I worked a double shift Xmas Eve. Went to my parents house as I moved out. Fell asleep on the couch near the Xmas tree. I am a stupidly heavy sleeper. Mom struggled to wake me up when I woke up I was accused of being on drugs(at this point in life the only thing I did was smoke weed as did my parents). I booked it out of there so fast told them nope I’m not coming to your house tomorrow I feel asleep bc of working a DOUBLE.
I don’t believe I came to Christmas when I was 20 as my mom ruined thanksgiving by getting too drunk and passing out at 1PM. I had driven 4 hours to celebrate.
22 was okay but my parents weren’t involved cause they couldn’t make it to my grandparents bc of a snowstorm.
In 2023 my parents divorced Xmas was weird.
Last Xmas my dad canceled Christmas for me because he was treating me horribly(dude doesnt take care of his mental health) so I told him he was treating me horribly and he said fine no Xmas for you then 😐
This year I was open to having a good Xmas just moved to my mom’s city with her family my mom and I have Xmas plans that I’ve been looking forward to.
And ofc some shit had to go down. My mom’s been helping me figure out car insurance bc I’ve never dealt with my own car insurance before. Yes I’m 25 yes I know that’s so lame that I’m not well versed in that but it is what it is.
My mom and I were on the phone and she started getting pissy with me cause she was mad I was confused about insurance and then she gets a tone. And her tone is so fucked when she speaks to you you genuinely feel like this person hates my guts. It’s far more than just a frustrated tone. And I told her this is so shit when you use me as a punching bag for your frustration vocally.
She didn’t receive that well. Took so many back and forth forth’s for her to get that her tone isn’t okay and I’m not a terrible human being for point out the tone.
And I mentioned during our argument that I’m just about done celebrating Christmas. It’s just such an anxiety producing holiday I would truly rather be alone.
My mom’s hurt that I don’t want to celebrate Christmas but I’m terrified of looking forward to that day and some shit going down again.
So AITA for heavily concluding that this is not a holiday made for me?
Perhaps its not that the hoilday isn’t for you, but rather the ones you celebrate it with. Enjoy the hoilday in your own, eat what you like, watch christmas movies and enjoy your day off. And maybe next year try to get together with some friends around this time and have a little party. It will certainly be much better than spending it with your folks
This. Your life is your own, not your parents
NTA. Holidays are stressful, for real. There are many years I thought about cancelling Christmas. I never did, but I get the sentiment.
Omfg YTA for causing a scene.
Sure your mom’s tone can be hurtful, but knowing how to express your discomfort *respectfully and maturely* is more important.
Don’t be AH from the behaviors of your mom and dad. Be better.
(I know from experience and had to unlearn behaviors from my parents too)
What “scene”, she was on the phone? She doesn’t have to be the bigger person when it comes to the people who’ve consistently made life shitty for her.
You all sound exhausting.
“My dad doesn’t take care of his mental health” “my mom gets a tone” Pot, meet kettle.
Christmas with the wrong people just feels wrong. My family has cut off so many people on special occassions. They’re not even “terrible” people, but we just don’t feel like it adds anything to any of their or our lives other than drama. So cut off everyone who doesn’t make you feel like the occassion is worth it. That might mean “everyone” right now, so it might take some time to find those people that is worth celebrating it with. Good luck!
Your an adult, celebrate Christmas how and where you want to, or if you don’t want to, then don’t, your sn adult.
But you sound over dramatic.
Hit feel asleep after wiring a double and they accused you of being in sys, so you left. You got pudgy and left because someone questioned if you were in drugs?
How about taking then no, i just worked a double and have been exhausted, must have needed a nap if i slept for x number of hours, then join back into the activities.
Last year at age 24, your dad canceled your Christmas, lol. Your an adult, you tell him good luck with that, and then you go on with your Christmas celebrating with or without him. That is assuming he wasnt hosting and kicked you out of his house for disrespecting him in his own house. Even then your can still celebrate, just not at his place.
You got in a fight with your mom while she was helping you understand insurance? She was helping you, and you turned it into a fight. You could have simply thanked her and said we will figure it out later, not today. Or Google could have probably answered your question, if not, that’s why you use a local insurance broker, ask them.
Honestly when someone blames everyone else for all their own issues, it’s a sign. That person will create issues then blame anyone else. Maybe you should look in a mirror as to why these relatively small things turned into a massive now were canceling Christmas type situations.
With that said, you’re an adult. Celebrate what your want, how you want to, With whom you want to involve. No need to make excuses or give reasons. Simply tell them your not feeling like doing Christmas this year.
But i think not celebrating it, just to be spiteful over a disagreement would be foolish. But that’s me and my family. Maybe Go, but with extremely low expectations and see what happens. If we eat food and no one gets into a boxing match then it was successful.
Maybe find some better people to celebrate with
Start creating your own traditions! It might feel kind of lonely at first but it sounds like this could be an on going issue. It doesn’t mean you can’t see your family ever again on Christmas but if you do have a tradition or two of your own, you have something you can always look forward to. Maybe you’ll have some friends that won’t cause drama and want to join in.
You’re 25 but this sounds like you are 12 in some parts. Never had to figure out your own insurance? Sounds like you were babied and never had to figure out anything on your own. I think you all need help