So basically my roommate and I usually buy our own groceries. We share stuff like paper towels and cleaning supplies but food is separate it’s always been. Last week I bought a few things that I was kinda excited about, some specific snacks, a frozen meal, and a pack of drinks I like. Nothing crazy expensive but nothing nowadays is exactly cheap either. Over the next few days I noticed some of it was missing. I didn’t say anything at first because I thought maybe I miscounted or got the munchies and forgot or whatever. But then I literally saw her eating one of the snacks I bought and she was like “oh I thought we were sharing.” Which threw me for a loop because we’ve never shared groceries before. I wasn’t rude about it at all, but I sent her a cashapp request for $8 for the stuff she ate. She paid it but then texted me saying that was petty and it made things “transactional and awkward.” Now I’m wondering if I overreacted because it wasn’t a huge amount of money, but at the same time I don’t want to set a habit that my stuff is free game for her to eat.
AITA?
Nope, roommate made things awkward by helping herself yo your snacks. nta
NTA
Because you have a roommate, that tells me you can’t afford to live on your own, which means you are on a budget and $8 matters to you. NTA
One thing my last roommate and I did was write, in sharpie, her name, my name or “share”. There were no questions after that.
thank you!
“But I thought you said we were sharing … you didn’t meant the cost?”
NTA
NAH
It was petty, but people your age seem to have problems just talking to each other, every piece of communication needs a phone or app apparently….
You should have had the courage to respond to her ‘I thought we were sharing’ comment with an actual conversation..like ‘oh, well we never have before, but we can talk about doing that from now on if you think it could work better….’
She of course, likely knew you weren’t ‘sharing’ and she ate a snack of yours once or twice in all the time you’ve lived togehter and make up an excuse. Lame, but not AH. SHe was right about the transactional part though.
yes I did respond to her stating we never shared before and money is tight for me right now, leading her to say I was transactional and made things awkward when I requested the money even though she left me with two packs in the box.
NTA – if you brought it with your own money, it is yours. $8 is actually a lot for you to lose in this economy! It sounds like she wasn’t thinking about how this would affect you!
Why didn’t you ask her to pay you back while you were talking? I won’t go so far as to say Y T A but it’s super weird that you talked to her to her face and then sent her a payment request separately. Definitely a little transactional and awkward.
I think you should have had more to say in the moment when she said you were sharing. Instead you sent a passive aggressive Cash App request. It’s not that you were mad it’s how you handled it. Obviously she ate your food so ESH.
NTA
I would normally say YTA in a situation like this, but I do agree with your last sentence, “I don’t want to set a habit that my stuff is free game for her to eat.” You did right. She will think twice about hauling off and eating your food.
Is this a friend or just a roommate? Either way, a friend would probably ask and a roommate who wasn’t already a friend needs to ask. NTA
No, tell her it’s entitled and rude to eat other people’s food without permission.