So my uncle is a terrible person he beats his wife emotionally abuses his kids manipulates and takes advantage of my grandmother’s passive personality.
Last year he physically attacked my mother. My mother pressed charges and tried to take him to court over it but nothing came out of it unfortunately. My grandparents decided to take his side instead of my mother’s so we have been in very low contact with my grandparents and completely cut off John and his family despite our concern for his children.
My entire extended family shares streaming platforms and two of the most used ones are Netflix and Disney Plus. I have my own profiles on Netflix in Disney plus that sometimes my other immediate family use. Over the past few months John has gone to every streaming platform that we both use and changed my specific profile to either his or wife’s.
I then decided to put a profile lock on my profiles but he still changed my profiles to his. The profiles clearly State my name and furthermore, in order to change the PIN if you don’t know the PIN you have to use the email and password so he did all the work to log in with the email and password and use those to figure out what my pin was and then change the pin as well as the name to my profile.
I had to do that same work to get my fucking profiles back. He has only been doing this to me. Other people in my extended family have their own profiles but he has chosen to only do this to me. My theory is it’s because I was one of the only witnesses to him attacking my mother and he knows he can’t do anything to her so he’s getting at her through me. I told my grandma to make him stop three different times and she’s done nothing.
My mom got tired of him harassing me so she told me to delete all of my profiles on everything so that we could get our own streaming services.
Yesterday I found out that after asking my grandma for the email and password to log into the Disney Plus even though they had already been logged in, he changed the password and didn’t tell anybody even though my grandma’s the one who pays for it. That enraged me because he’s such a shitty person and he just keeps doing shitty things and getting no consequences. I’m usually a passive person but I just couldn’t control my emotions today and the PMS isn’t helping.
Today I deleted all the profiles that belong to me and my family but before I logged out I changed the Netflix profiles and Disney plus profiles to say mean things like "fuck you, you’re going to jail, you fillthy psychotic wife beater, I hope you fail" and various things like that. After that I logged out of everything. A few people in my family tell me I should have controlled my emotions end that I should think before I do stuff like that considering he could use it against us in court.
My mom says that we’re supposed to take The moral High Ground which I guess is true. Now I’m just sitting here wondering if I should feel bad or if it doesn’t matter. Am I the asshole?
For the love of God learn how to make paragraphs. YTA for making me read this.
Um question: you have no contact with the family, why do you all share Netflix and Disney accounts? Just get your own.
I meannnn I’m not calling you an asshole but who has to deal with his anger over this? Not you because yall don’t talk, it will be his wife or kids. I hated people “standing up” to my dad growing up because it would only piss him off then guess who dealt with the consequences of him being pissed? If you guessed me, yay you win!
Stop poking the bear unless you’re the one getting bite, you shot a dart at the bear next to your aunt and cousins. If any of them decide to leave, help them but until then please just stay out of it.
Valid, I definitely wasn’t thinking it all the way through I was just focused on making myself feel better. thank you for pointing that out
It’s also valid that you did it, you’re a teen going through an incredibly hard situation. I will fully admit growing up i did things to piss off my own abusive father before I realized pissing him off just made it worse on my mom and as i got older the abuse spread to him abusing everyone in the house. Just an fyi I am out, about 8 years now so it’s not really hard for me to talk about anymore
Are you able to speak to anyone at your school? Like a counselor? I’m trying to talk to you similarly to how my therapist walks me through similar stuff, like you shouldn’t have done it but most people in your shoes would have done it also. There’s nothing wrong with a teenager making an emotional decision, we all did it, but next time try to think what happens after you decide to do something like this.
Ehh ESH 🤷🏽♀️ I think you went a bit overboard with the “fuck you, you’re going to jail, you filthy psychotic wife beater, I hope you fail”. Personally I would have kept it short… Netflix: Uncle Asshole/ Uncle NoOneLikes. Disney: King WifeBeater.
I have an uncle like that (mostly attributed to drugs though) so I know what it’s like to witness some fuckery and watch the rest of the family kind of shrug it off. Family members tend to think that blood ties means you’re suppose to accept shitty behavior.
To be honest yeah I did overreact I let my emotions control me. I also definitely could have been more creative and subtle. Kind of wish I would have thought of that lol, I probably shouldn’t have poked the bear in the first place though.
NTA, but I second the comment stating that you should keep in mind who he might take his anger out on. Unless you are saving his wife and kids and removing them from him permanently, stop making that man angry.
Yeah I hadn’t thought about that before but in future I will definitely think about that factor before I do it or say anything. If I ever do again. Which I probably will not.
As someone who works in tech YATA for password sharing. Grow up and pay for your streaming services
I mean yeah we could if we could afford it and we are currently trying but we don’t have the money to pay for every single streaming service that we share with my grandparents. We stopped using any of them a few days ago and my mom is re- budgeting so we can still use a few but sometimes you just don’t have the money so sharing with other people is the best that you can do even if you are already grown up. Ideally everybody could afford to pay for their own but sometimes that’s just not how life works.
LOL NTA
I mean obviously you should just not share any services with that person, that’s the obvious choice. And it’s up to your grandma to kick him out of it or stop paying if she’s got a problem with what he does with the service SHE pays for.
However I applaud your petty revenge. 👏🏻 The court obviously done nothing when he attacked your mother, why do you think the court cares about some insults on netflix profiles. You could just deny having been the one doing it too (maybe too late for that, but I would have just shrugged and said “it wasn’t me”.)
Hopefully sometimes soon she will come to her senses maybe when she realizes that he changed her password without telling her.
Yeah I’mma be pissed about the court thing for a while but probably a good idea to just never speak to him or be around him again.