Honestly I’m too tired to dedicate any energy trying to understand what I did wrong here. I need a third party input.
I (24M) currently live with my parents (53M 50F). I am due to train for a government job (ATC) in like 2 days. I am taking this opportunity to get myself deployed literally anywhere else and leave.
A week ago I agreed to help my mother help my little brother (22M) and his pregnant girlfriend (~21F) move into a different apartment. Mom doesn’t “Trust” me to drive with her in the car and I’ve sinced stopped offering to help her. we’re headed to their old apartment when we realized we were low on gas. She calls her husband to drive up to the gas station we’re at to put gas in the car for her. This is completely normal and I’ve since stopped offering to help him 🤷🏿♂️
I realize I have to piss. I let them know, and exit the car. “IN THE GAS STATION!?!?” I hear as I leave. They shout at me from the car to stop and come back, I let them know it’s okay, I’m just peeing, and I will be back.
I enter the gas station, by the time I find the restroom Dad walks in, asking why I was ignoring him, and they gas station bathrooms are dirty, mom will drive me to a cleaner bathroom. I’m getting looks from strangers. I tell him I have to pee, and this is a risk I’m willing to take.
When I finish I find mom had driven off, I enter dad’s car and ask where she went. He says she left, because I was disrespectful. I tell him I don’t believe it’s disrespectful to not let someone dictate where and when I pee because they think they’re better than a public bathroom. “What?” He barked, “You said you had to **poop!**”
Why would I *poop* in a public bathroom? I said. I told him had to pee. He insists I said poop, then goes on to explain by Ignoring them I was incredibly disrespectful, not only to my mother, but as a man, as I walked off and ignored another man as he was speaking to me. I reiterated that random men don’t have a right to dictate when and where I pee, and most normal people would not be this worked up, I add people were giving us looks.
he just blows off. Tells me from now on, he’ll give me the “Same energy” back. “I’m a grown man, I know how to take care of myself, you don’t know what other people think, you’re still learning”
More things were said but I honestly don’t have the energy to remember. Ask me a specific question if you wish
We return home and he stands outside for like 2 minutes before I ask if he’s coming in. “Do your thing” he says. “Okay, want me to close the door?” “I know how to take care of my own garage door.”
Later get a call from mom saying she was *trying* to tell me there was a diner next door I could’ve pissed in, but my disregard for her is hurting her peace. She feels she no longer knows her son. I tell her there’s no reason to get worked up over something so minor, and she hangs up demanding I let her have peace.
What did I do wrong here? AITA?
NTA arguing over going to the restroom is a gas station is wild. You stand to pee(I assume) 🤯wtf is even happening 😂😂😂😂
Jesus.
So much wrong here. Your mom can’t pump her own gas but thinks she needs to tell you where to go to the bathroom?
So much help is needed….good luck to your entire family.
This has to be fake ok. If it’s not your parents have bigger issues then where you pee
Wow absolutely NTA. You had to use the bathroom and were conveniently in a facility that had a bathroom available, hence you used it, which is extremely normal. Your parents behavior was deranged on multiple levels.
NTA your mom is a control freak who needs therapy
NTA
Trying to dictate where and whether you pee at 24 is pretty controlling.
You uh, really should move out.
Is this actually serious? What normal person engages in this type of conversation? Go when ya gotta go— why is anyone else entering this discussion of where and what you do?!!!
Your parents sound unhinged. Who gets someone else to drive to put fuel in their car for them?
I suspect something more is going on here, whether your mum has OCD or a similar condition. Or whether dad is particularly controlling.
Either way, NTA
Dude your whole family is weird. Nta
Your parents are nuts
OP, two paths are before you.
1) Continue to allow yourself to be sucked down into this drama whirlpool with your family of origin by caring about whatever nonsense of the week they manage to put on.
2) Protect your peace by realizing that this is insanity, that healthy people don’t act this way, and that you’re an adult man who is capable of making his own decisions.
The second one is harder, because it means that you need to stay calm when everybody else is acting like a maniac. It means don’t rise to the bait. It means don’t waste time arguing or trying to figure out why irrational people do irrational things. It means stop trying to placate. This choice is substantially better for you long-term.
NTA.
The sooner you get away from these two the better. The cheese done slid off both their crackers. I assure you there is nothing normal about any of the events outlined here! NTA!
NTA. Call me ignorant, but is this some kind of cultural thing? I’m just a Yankee white boy and have never heard of this behavior from parents.
Sorry you lost me at the bit where your dad has to drive out to a gas station to put gas in your mum’s car for her. Your parents are fully crackers