As the title states, AITA for not sitting with my Girlfriend \[32F\] at Thanksgiving dinner.
My family rented a large house to accommodate two separate families this year. My moms side and her fiances side. I still don’t really know his side of the family that well. I’ve only met them once myself.
There must’ve been about 30 or so people at the gathering and when it came time to eat my GF was hovering around me as I was fixing my plate asking where I would like to sit. I just said "at the table". However by time I finally made it to the table there weren’t many open seats together. I chose to sit next to my uncle and cousin. My girlfriend had to sit on the other side of the table.
Apparently she was upset because I didn’t sit at the seat next to her. I wasn’t going to get up and move after I sat down. I just saw an empty seat and sat down. After we ate she just kept going on and on about how she was too uncomfortable to eat and somehow I embarrassed her by not sitting with her when everyone else was sitting with the people they came with.
I don’t really get the big deal. I sat down, ate my food and didn’t talk to anyone. I don’t like chatting when I’m eating. She said she was uncomfortable being surrounded by people she didn’t know and I was uncomfortable too. I quickly ate my food and got up.
This isn’t the first time she has made a big deal out of me not sitting with her at family gatherings. I’m contemplating not inviting her anymore.
My family noticed this time that she didn’t eat and immediately went outside by herself. At this point it’s getting embarrassing but she argues I’m the impolite one just because I don’t stay with her 24/7.
So “there weren’t many open seats together” and you “didn’t sit at the seat next to her.” That means there were at least SOME open seats together, including the seat right next to her.
Obviously YTA. You don’t bring a guest for Thanksgiving and not sit with them. That’s just rude.
Dude. YTA. She’s at a huge family event. And “not many seats left together” implies there were some. It’s not about not wanting to chat, it’s about her not wanting to sit by herself with people she either doesn’t know or barely knows. What the selfishness were you thinking? She was clearly uncomfortable before you sat, and you gave her comfort at an event she attended for you zero thought.
This would be such a deal breaker for me.
Good grief. Calling YTA would be an improvement
YTA. You’re 32, you don’t get to play dumb about why she’s upset. It’s common for couples to sit together but it seems like you couldn’t be asked to even try to sit with your gf. Thinking of not inviting her anymore? Bro do you even like her? Act like you like her or let her find someone that does
She came to your family gathering and you left her alone. YTA and a huge one at that.
You left her to small talk with essentially a group of near strangers (especially since you are comfy with them being YOUR family and they are all comfy with each other). She clearly was uncomfortable and she asked you to sit by her and you just didn’t want to get up and move? You should probably not have a gf if that was your priority.
“This isn’t the first time she has made a big deal out of me not sitting with her at family gatherings. I’m contemplating not inviting her anymore.”
So you’ve done this before and she’s expressed her feelings about it. And you’re thinking of no longer inviting her instead of, oh I don’t know, just sitting with her?
YTA
YTA
She’s an outsider, you’re the family member. You’re supposed to sit with your guest so they don’t feel awkward. Your parents should have said something to you, but apparently they’re AHs, too.