For the past few months I’ve been accompanying my dad to see my mom at the rehab center. Sometimes without any thought of it as we walk I end up walking behind him. When it happens he starts going off and spazzing out asking why I’m doing it and that’s what they do in India and China walking behind each other. I told him this is America so I don’t care how they walk over there
I had enough after today and told him he needs to go sorts things out/ he has problems if how and where I walk stresses him out so bad to which he replied "Go online and ask people they’ll agree it’s not normal".
Sorry first time posting here but AITA?
I honestly don’t get why your dad is so hung up on it. Everyone walks differently, and it seems like he’s just nitpicking for no reason. I think it’s more about him than you.
Everytime he keeps mentioning India and China and saying it’s not normal. I don’t even pay attention or care if I’m somewhere even if there’s a lot of space and empty and someone’s walking behind me instead of beside me(unless I feel like I’m being stalked which is rare) sometimes have to ignore him and go silent.
If you guys are just walking quietly there’s no need to walk next to each other but if he’s trying to converse with you and you’re walking behind him I can understand his frustration. Either way freaking out about it is not the way to handle it. NTA.
I can understand that but I was right there just not on his side so he can hear. Hallway was empty passed by maybe one person on our way to sign out. 😩
This seems like a weird thing for anyone to get so hot and bothered about. Frankly, I hate when people walk Wizard of Oz style. Makes it impossible to get around people. Single file makes more sense.
It sounds as if your dad is super stressed, and is taking it out on you, possibly due to the rehab situation with your mom? In any case, you are NTA, he needs to stop lashing out.
He snapped at a nurse right before we left because she said she’d get someone to change my mom. The nurse forgot to ask the aid and it went downhill after.
He has a bad habit of using this situation these past months as an excuse take it out on me when he’s pissed at the nurses, cnas, therapist when they do something he doesn’t like, take too long to do something or a mistake if they make. Gets tiring.
What a weird thing for him to fixate on
He wants his son to be his equal and walk beside him. He doesn’t want his son to be subservient. He doesn’t want a master servant relationship.
He’s proud of you. He want’s you to show pride in yourself.
There are some cultures where the wife and children would walk behind the head of household to show respect. He thinks it makes him look like an abusive a hole.
This. It’s normal to walk side by side. Also I just don’t like having someone walk right behind me. It feels uncomfortable to me.
I mean, unless you’re walking like…*inches* behind him, or intentionally putting a city block between you and him, I don’t really get what’s abnormal about it.
That said, this is happening when you’re visiting your mom at a rehab center. I won’t guess exactly what that means, but you and your dad are probably under a lot of stress. It’s really unfortunate that your dad seems to be taking that out on you. If he’s usually a reasonable parent, you could try talking to him about what’s really bothering him–sometime when you’re at home, *not* at the rehab center, not in the middle of one of these arguments. (If he’s not very reasonable, or you don’t feel comfortable broaching the topic, I’d understand.)
But NTA.