TLDR My parents suggested a holiday to celebrate my 30th with my girlfriend and I. They delayed deciding, then said they didn’t want to travel because of global conflicts. My girlfriend and I started planning our own trip instead. Later the same day my parents changed their minds and said they do want to go. My girlfriend is annoyed about the flip-flopping and wants to keep our own plans, but I feel bad saying no to my parents.
I (29M) am turning 30 soon, and my parents suggested that we all go on holiday together to celebrate, including my girlfriend (29F). My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years, so she’s been around my family for a long time.
My parents said they would talk about the idea and get back to me, but they never did. It has been a few weeks since. My girlfriend started to think they probably weren’t that serious about going.
I eventually called them to ask what the plan was. During that call they said maybe travelling wasn’t a good idea right now because of the war situation in the world. The country we were considering going to isn’t anywhere near Russia, Ukraine, Iran, etc., but I didn’t argue and said that was fine.
After that, my girlfriend and I spent half the day looking at alternative trips and started planning a holiday for just the two of us instead.
Then later that same day my parents called back and said they’d thought about it again and actually do want to go on the trip after all.
Now my girlfriend is pretty annoyed because from her perspective my parents keep flip-flopping and our plans keep changing because of it. She also pointed out that if we had just booked earlier we could have gotten cheaper flights and accommodation, since it’s now very close to the week we’re supposed to be on holiday so things have gone up.
Because of this, she now thinks we should just stick with the trip for the two of us and tell my parents no. The problem is I find it difficult to say no to them. They’re my parents, and technically the idea was to celebrate my 30th birthday (even though I personally don’t care that much about celebrating it).
So now I feel stuck between my girlfriend being frustrated about the changing plans and not wanting to disappoint my parents.
AITA if I decide to still go on the trip with my parents even though my girlfriend would rather we just do our own trip?
NTA. You’re a grown adult and you don’t need a reason to say no to anyone. It’s understandably a little frustrating for your GF, but I think everyone is over reacting. What do YOU want to do? It’s your birthday. If you want to go as a 4, great. If you want it to be just the two of you, also fine. If you go as a four, you can always schedule another trip with just you and your GF, or vise versa.
I hope your girlfriend dumps you. You’re 30. Cut the freaking umbilical cord.
this was my take, too. Like do what you want, but don’t be surprised if you’re single when you get back. Grow up
NTA…Your parents have proven themselves to be unreliable. The sooner you book a trip, the better the price you’ll get. You can travel alone, and assure your parents that you can all travel together when they’re more comfortable with the world situation.
NTA. But you’ll have the potential to look like one to both your parents and your gf if you don’t make a firm decision. Your gf is right that prices are going up. You need to ask your parents if they definitely want to go, and tell them you are booking today, so they need to decide and it’s their last chance to make a decision. The flip-flopping would drive me crazy too.
Your parents decided to go the same day you two seconds to go alone so you wouldn’t have got the flight much cheaper
NAH this year has been unstable, and your parents offered the idea, made a decision when asked, and changed their mind within a day. Personally I’d travel as a foursome and use that half-day research for a future trip as a couple
honestly your parents seem super indecisive and it’s kinda unfair to expect you to just drop your plans because they changed their minds again. stick with what you and your gf already planned.
Has this happened before, where your parents are pretty indecisive on plans?
I understand how frustrating this situation is for your gf and how you don’t want to disappoint your parents. However, if the answer to the question above is a yes, this is a bigger prob with your parents imo as its not like they changed their mind and then changed again within a couple days. That’s annoying sure, but ok overall as things happen. Unfortunately, that doesn’t look to be the case this time since you waited a few weeks.
If this is a recuring issue, I would stick with what you planned with your gf. If not, talk to your parents to not have this happen again and make it a four person trip. Regardless though, at the end of the day, it’s up to you how you want to spend your birthday.
Keep the plans you made with your gf. Your parents can travel with you another time and hopefully won’t continue to be so wishy-washy in making decisions. You would be TAH if you changed plans again to accommodate your parents.
YWBTA if you went with your parents. At this stage, when they’ve changed their minds – what was it, three times? Four? I’ve lost count, and that doesn’t include delays while they discussed things – you really need to tell them that it’s too late for them to change their minds now; you and your girlfriend have other plans that you can’t change.
I think that even if your girlfriend were not involved, it is high time you told them that you can’t put your plans on hold indefinitely while they change their minds, and you can’t change plans you made when they told you they wouldn’t travel even if they have now decided to travel.
Of course, you do have a girlfriend. If I were her, I’d be really annoyed at having my plans with my boyfriend depend on the whims of people who can’t make a decision and stick with it.
YTA, and a spineless B to boot. Your girlfriend is going to come to her senses and you’ll get to live and kiss bum to your parents 24/7. You should be embarrassed of yourself.
It wasn’t even 24 hours of the “ flip flopping”. If you haven’t made reservations please go away with your parents. The fact that they still want to celebrate with you is very special. Idk why your GF is that pee’d off to be honest. If she keeps pushing back then take a little trip with her and go with your parents alone. Seven years being à GF is pretty long time, have any doubts about her?