I (26, F) am currently a Teaching Assistant in a Primary School in my area. I recently moved within the federation to a new school due to various reasons (I don’t think I can disclose all details but promise I did nothing wrong 🤣). I have been a 1-to1 for a lovely 9-year-old girl, and she is just fab. I am really enjoying the team at this school and am so pleased about the move.
Recently, my mum started to talk about how much she missed working in schools since she decided to work quiter jobs a few years ago. A role came up at the preschool that is onsite at the same school as I work. She was really keen to apply and even checked with me that I wouldn’t mind her working in the same place. I said I wouldn’t mind as I know how keen she is to be back working in education.
Last week, though I wasn’t supposed to, that the girl I have been working with, that my contract depends on, is moving out of the area. I was upset when I found out because I am, of course, devestated about the prospect of losing the job I love.
Here’s where it gets sticky. The headteacher approached me the other day and suggested I consider the role that just came up in the preschool. She stated she doesn’t want to lose me as part of the school team but can’t find a spot for me at the moment without the funding this child brings to the schol (though they are trying to). I told her that my mum had applied and she said she understood but thinks I should really consider taking it.
My mum is SO excited about this job and she called me just now to tell me she’s been invited for an interview tomorrow. I really want this for her but I also love my job and love this school, and the idea of leaving when I have just settled in is really rubbish.
Am I the asshole for considering this role? Would I be the asshole for taking it, knowing how happy it would make my mum? Should I say no, despite myself?
Be honest with your mum & explain the situation you find yourself in. It’s not your fault.
NAH, but talk to your mum. She sounds like she’s very understanding and she wants you to succeed.
NTA tbh, this is ur career and ur livelihood, not a hobby. It sucks but u can’t put ur future on pause just bec ur mum wants it too.
Talk to your mom. If you apply without giving her a heads up that’d be an AH move. I suspect part of what excites her might be the chance to work with you. There will be other teaching roles at other schools that your mom could apply for, it’d make more sense for you to stay at the school you love. NTA for considering the job, but please talk to your mom first. Talking to her is the difference between her being excited for you and her being blindsided & upset.
NTA- You shouldn’t risk unemployment to avoid disappointing her.
NAH so far.
The head teacher encouraged you to apply. That is encouraging for you.
There is no guarantee your mom would get the job. How foolish would you feel if your mom didn’t get the job – it went to someone else – and that person wasn’t you because you never applied?
TALK to your mom. TELL (don’t ask) her that you are going to apply. You want her to get a job she will love. Ideally the interviews for this job will set you both up for jobs with this school district – one at this preschool and the other in the next great position to open up.
Your mom has a job and is wanting to switch back because she misses what she had chosen to leave. You may be out of a job/ have to leave the place you love working at if you don’t get this job. This isnt you, on a whim, deciding you want what your mom wants. No one gets to decide who has more ‘right’ to the job, not you and not your mom. So let the hiring team pick (hopefully) one of you for this job and the other for the next great job.
This is where I’m at. Mom already has a job and OP is facing unemployment. OP just needs to be up front with mom because any good parent will think their child’s continued employment is more important in this scenario.
NTA but please talk to your mom. Explain what is happening and that the headteacher also suggested to apply. If she is great for the school, they will find another way to employ her just like the headteacher is trying to find a way to keep you!
NTA
They should have never opened a job to outside applicants when they have an employee ready to fill the job, especially when that person is losing their position. Go for the job and if mom gets upset if you get it just say; that they had to by contract offer the job with in-house preference to those in the system first, and that you were interviewed because they had to consider in-house employees 1st.
The job opening is current. OP still has her job at the moment because the special-needs student she teaches has not yet moved out of the district. It is a matter of unfortunate timing, but the district did nothing wrong here.
OP should have a discussion with her mom, starting with the fact that she’s about to lose her job, and ease into the fact that she was asked to apply for the same position as her mom. Then they together can decide the best course. IMO neither should assume they should get it, and both should apply if they want it. NAH.
Sometimes interviews have to be available to the public for certain kinds of funding. Also, they may know of a great candidate but better is out there.
Your mom HAS a job, you’re about to lose yours. There’s no contest. Tell her what’s going on, and then apply for the job. May the best person suite be hired. Nta
NAH – but you need to apply! When it comes to jobs the decision is out of your hands – its in the interviewers… Do let your mom know you did apply as the headmaster had encouraged you to, who knows if you dont apply that your mom would get it? Usually they do give consideration to those already working there so its not your fault either way and your mom has to know you dont get the first job you applied for, she needs to apply other places as well. Best of luck!
NTA however I can definitely see your dilemma, you love your mom you care for her and you want her happy but you have to remember that your mom loves you. She cares for you and she wants you happy also. I think you should take the job. Your administrator has specifically asked you to take it. There’s no guarantee that if your mom applies that she’ll receive it. Sometimes we have to look out for ourselves.