I (20F) in early December (it’s February now), had 800 dollars In my account from my job. I’m a college student and I work part time at the mall, but I put in several hours to make about 600 dollars a pay check, which is a lot for a 20 year old student. Anyways, my mom took half of it because she needed money for bills, and then my brothers rent came out of my account (my mom pays his rent and at the time my bank account was attached to hers so I’m guessing the rental agency took it from mine because of NSF). So now she owes me 750, which again, is a lot for someone in my shoes. I’ve been saving for months, so I’m just frustrated. She also didn’t ask me before hand she just transferred it out of my account and then told me she’d pay me back later. It was annoying, but I knew I was getting it back soon. It’s been almost two months now and now I’m getting frustrated. On one hand, she’s my mom and she’s having financial problems, but on the other hand I’m missing my savings money and I feel like I’ve lost control over my life because I don’t know when she’ll be able to pay me back. Am I in the wrong for feeling this way and reminding her?
NTA, but you need to disconnect those accounts asap. Or open one she didn’t know about and start transferring to there.
NTA and get a new account, which your mom cannot access.
No, you are not in the wrong for feeling that way and reminding her. However YTA to yourself for not getting a new bank account at a new bank so that she no longer has any access to your money.
You are not in the wrong. Her bills and your brothers’ rent is not your responsibility. I’d be asking her EVERY DAY. NTA
NTA the amount doesn’t matter, the fact that she took it from you without asking is the biggest red flag. The first step should be opening a new account somewhere else and speaking to your payroll to change where your money is sent. Also there isnt much information but if your brother has his own apartment I assume he is also an adult who can work and pay his bills? Theres no reason it should fall to you at all to support her and him vicariously. Do you live at home? Is there an agreed contribution to the household already? If i were you I would make moves to gain some independence or at the very least some financial distance and boundaries
Go to the bank immediately and do one of two things: 1} terminate your mother’s ability to remove money from that account OR 2} transfer the rest of the money in the account to a new account where your mother no longer has access.
NTA
you are not in the wrong, but you need to set up your own bank account, NOW, so she does not have access to take more from you. Keep your money separate and don’t tell her what you have, or how much. This is going to be a lifelong problem if you don’t cut off her access now. Losing $800 now is preferable to thousands over the years (though I still hope you manage to get that $800 back).
NTA but you need to get a new bank account that only you have access to
Op, set up a new Bank account that your mom doesnt have access to. Direct your paychecks to the new account. NTA but the chances of you getting the money back are slim.
NTA but you’re 20 and should have your own bank account she doesn’t have access to. Wtf are you thinking leaving an account she can not only access but that’s also linked for your brother’s rent?!
NTA. But you’re 20, why does she have access to your bank account?
Open a new account that she can’t access. You should’ve done that as soon as you turned 18
Get your money out of that account and open your own account at a different bank before this gets worse.
You wont be seeing that money soon or if ever. Its time to open your own bank account. Dont tell anyone you did. If you ever want to help her or your family out again by your own decision then you can just transfer some into that account..