My (37M) parents are Nigerian. We have this food called meat pie. You can google it but its kind of like an empanada.
My wife (37F) is half Nigerian and she loves when I make meat pie, but i dont really do it too often. She doesn’t know how to, and prefers when I do it. Last time I made it was probably like a month or two ago. my wife has been asking a lot lately and I’ve been telling her that I don’t really feel like doing it. It’s not like it’s a meal, it’s basicslly just a snack. Takes a lot of time to male though.
My wife’s problem now is that when I had a few friends over I made it. My friends like it so I thought why not. She was pretty offended that I thought making it for friends was ok but I “never make it for her.” Which just isn’t true because like I said, I made it a month or so ago. After my friends left, my wife was giving me the cold shoulder, and when I asked her about it she said that me simply making food for other people and not her made her feel “unimportant” and I was being a dick. Me, I don’t really think this is a problem, but my wife is pretty upset over it so I’m posting to see if I’m in the wrong. Also, she had some of the leftover meatpies my friends didn’t eat, so she had like almost ten all to herself.
AITA
why do you care more about pleasing your friends than making your wife happy?
“Me, I don’t really think this is a problem l, but my wife is pretty upset over it…”
If it’s not a big deal to you but it is to someone you care about -then do it.
YTA, you went to the effort for your friends but not your wife even though she was asking for them. It’s obviously going to make her feel unimportant- she’s your wife and your highest priority.
Info. Why were you willing to make it for friends but not your wife?
What do you wanna hear??
It’s a time-consuming dish when your wife asks for it, but you have no problem making it for friends.
Way to show where your priorities are…
YTA
I mean it’s not the crime of the century… but she was asking you for it and you did decide you couldn’t be bothered to make the effort for her but could for your friends so yeah YTA.
Sounds like YTA this gave me flashbacks of my chauvinistic ex, who put his male friends to higher regard than me, he came to them at first call and made things for them, cause they’re his “bros”, he actually ignored me when his friends were over. While he expected Me to be the one there for him, taking care of him and being of highest importance to me.
YTA. If it’s too much work to make it for your wife who has asked you to make it, how is it not to much work to make it for friends? Your priorities are way out of line. You owe your wife an apology and some meat pies.
Y T A.
It’s not too much of an effort to do it for your friends but is for your wife.
YTA
You’ve just told your wife your friends are more important than her.
Why don’t you spend a day cooking together, she can learn the tips and tricks and see that it takes a long time to make? Or can you make some ahead and freeze so she can have some “on demand”?
YTA. Frankly, can’t understand why you even have to ask. How would you feel if there was a food you love and can’t make but your wife can, but she couldn’t be bothered to do it for you? Yet, if friends come over ‘hey no problem!’
I’m sure your wife does things for you that your friends would never. Value what is actually important or you lose it.
YTA
>She loves when I make meat pie.
I’ve been telling her that I don’t really feel like doing it.
>My friends like it so I thought why not.
Enough said.
YTA, not necessarily for not making the pies, but 100% definitely for your response to what she said. Your wife communicated to you that your actions make her feel unimportant. Your response? “I don’t think this is important.” And then you ran to internet to try to get strangers to validate you.
Bruh. Put the phone down, talk (and listen) to her feelings about this, and then be a better partner.
>My friends like it so I thought why not.
So what you do think that your wife likes it and *asked* for it? F her, I made it last for her last month?
How often does your wife cook for you? Once a month?