so i’m in highschool (this is my graduation year) and a new girl came to our class (I’ll call her Emily) and I’m quite the social butterfly type of person and i talked to her cause she was sitting alone and found out she was from a completely other city.
so I’m in a group of 6 friends we’re all in the same class and we’ve known each other since the first year of high school so that Emily quickly became part of our circle of friends, and I noticed she was inventing a life for herself. She lied to me a lot about her life, and she didn’t have good manners; she never said please, rarely thank you, and cherry on top put me down a few times about my appearance and even once about my sister’s appearance, but I still continued to be her friend (something I shouldn’t have done). At the beginning of the second term, she made up a HUGE lie about one of the girls in my friend group, and I was fed up, so I told my friend everything, and Emily got into trouble and threatened me. But she did nothing (meanwhile, I was in a depression, I regretted what I had done out of fear of Emily’s revenge, I hated myself and swore to myself never to make this mistake again… 🤡) After this incident, we discovered that Emily was a major psychopath (a narcissistic pervert), that she had daddy issues, and that her family sent her to repeat the year at our high school because she was causing problems in her old highschool (ps: her mom herself told us that)
two weeks later
A few days ago, I remembered a lie Emily had told about another member of my friend group, and I wanted to know if it was true. I told my friend, and she thought that Emily bodyshamed her (I told my friend that Emily didn’t mean anything by it, but my friend confronted Emily via text message, and now Emily has threatened me… that’s it… i added fuel to the fire.
I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong but for your own mental health you need to pull back from all of this.
INFO: when you asked your friend about the “lie,” were you intentionally trying to start drama?
No i just wanted to know if the lie actually happened or not (cause i wasn’t sure if it was a lie or not at that time) And now I know I shouldn’t meddle in other people’s business anymore. I shouldn’t have done that because it’s pointless and besides, it’s none of my business. I should have just ignored it.
~~NTA, but since you’re in a depression, I’d recommend you take a break from being her friend~~
Edit: I saw your comment just now
Info: Were the lies that Emily said meant to cause some drama between the friend group?
INFO: Why do YOU call HER the psychopath?
NTA. You need to stop calling this “adding fuel to the fire” and start calling it “holding a bully accountable.” Emily didn’t get into trouble because of you; she got into trouble because she lied and insulted people. You are not responsible for her reaction to being caught. If she is threatening you, stop keeping it a secret. Tell your parents or a counselor immediately. High school drama is one thing, but actual threats are another level entirely.
That’s what I did, I told everything to my school supervisor, and she’s on my side. And then the first part of the story (the first lie), I told my mom. She scolded me and told me it was my fault for playing the role of the vigilante And that I shouldn’t have gotten involved in this matter and should have focused on my studies and my graduation exam
NTA
INFO: why do you can her a psychopath?
NTA for calling her out on lying but you really shouldn’t be using diagnoses that haven’t been made by a professional to insult someone bc it’s a serious thing to have a mental health issue like psychological delusions or narcissistic tendencies and i promise you as a high schooler you are not qualified to even suggest that, even if you think you know what those mean, it requires years of education and training to diagnose someone and it’s actually really harmful to throw those words around like they don’t actually have medical meaning (psychopath isn’t even a diagnosis anymore, psychopathy is really specific as a symptom of some other disorder – source: an actual professional in my life trained in diagnosing mental health disorder)
Emily sounds incredibly insecure. Making up stories might have started as her way of trying to get attention. Getting defensive and making threats is just doubling down on the behaviour.
If you want to be mature about it, tell her outright that making shit up about folks is how she’ll lose friendships.
If you just want to get on with your life, quietly reduce the amount of time and energy you’re giving her when she lies. You don’t have to challenge what she says, just give noncommittal replies and go on with whatever you’re talking about with your actual friends. It’ll be hard for a while ’cause she’ll probably try to push her way back into the spotlight, but eventually she might get bored and give up.
But do talk it over with your own friends, and let them decide for themselves what they want to do, as well.
Me and Emily we’re no longer friends anymore, she considers me as her enemy and then, in my group of friends, we’re kind of united, so we turned our backs on her
NTA but throwing around terms like psychopath and narcissist is not okay. Especially bc you are both in high school, you are both very young and still have a lot to learn and experience – there is probably a reason for her actions that she needs help for. However, that is not your problem to solve – she needs to seek that out herself. You have your own things to deal with. You do not have to be friends with anyone you don’t want to – especially not someone who puts you down, tells lies within your friend group, and threatens you. That is abuse and you do not have to take it. She needs to learn that these behaviours are not okay, and if that lesson comes from being dropped as a friend then so be it.
If she literally threatened you report it. You are using a lot of words to describe her instead of what it sounds like, she is a mean girl. You are not betraying anyone so NTA. You are just reacting appropriately to her mean girl behavior.