I live in a small apartment building with about 12 units. Recently, there’s been an ongoing issue with noise from one unit that often plays loud music late at night. It’s annoying, but not constant maybe once or twice a week. A few neighbors decided to draft a formal complaint letter to management and asked everyone to sign it so it would carry more weight. They knocked on my door one evening and showed me the letter. I agreed with most of what was written and told them I also found the noise frustrating. However, I declined to sign my name. My reason was that I’ve had neutral to good interactions with the noisy neighbor in the past, and I didn’t want to be personally involved in escalating things. I suggested that management could handle it anonymously or that they submit the complaint without listing every tenant’s name. The neighbors seemed surprised and said the whole point was showing that everyone was united. One of them said that by not signing, I was undermining the effort and making it easier for management to ignore the problem. A few days later, the complaint was submitted without my name. Since then, things have been a bit awkward. One neighbor made a comment in passing about how some people like to complain but don’t want to stand behind it, which felt directed at me. I still think the noise is an issue, but I also feel like I should be allowed to set boundaries about how involved I get, especially when my name is attached to something that could cause tension where I live. AITA for agreeing with the complaint but refusing to sign the letter?
NAH. You’re allowed to be spineless and your neighbors are allowed to judge you for it.
Honestly perfect comment.
NTA, but you are a bit of a wimp, which you are totally allowed to be.
You want the noise resolved, but you aren’t willing to do THE SMALLEST THING to help accomplish that. You’re being asked to sign your name on a thing that you agree with – that’s it. To be nice, you could go talk to the neighbor you have a “neutral to good” relationship with and ask them to keep it down. But no, you still want the letter drafted and submitted, anonymously.
It may be harsh but YTA for not having the courage to say something to your neighbours face that you’re happy to say behind his back.
grow a spine, friend.
YTA. You realize that management isn’t going to go to the boat neighbor and show them the letter or list off every person that signed it… Right? Surely you can’t be that daft.
Seems like it’s tense now. YTA. Maybe stop complaining about the noise then?
NAH, but you realize that now everyone in the building has a problem with you, right? You pissed off the neighbors who did sign and when management tells the noisy neighbor “everyone is complaining,” noisy is going to assume you complained. You would have been better off signing because now 11/12 units are mad at you whereas if you signed 1/12 would be mad.
This. By not signing, you declared yourself on the side of the noisemaker. I know it was not your intention OP, but that is how your neighbors will see it. There will be tension and drama over this.
NAH. You didn’t sign the letter – fine. That’s allowed. But your neighbours are 100% allowed to be miffed about that.
YTA because you’re agreeing with the complaint but refuse to do anything about it? That’s called enabling. You are part of the problem.
You agree that it’s an issue and it should be stopped. If you don’t want to sign your name that’s fine, but offer to go in person to speak to apt management. Otherwise you effectively just want everyone else to solve to problem and you’ll benefit.
NAH but it’s bizarre to prioritize your “relationship” with the one neighbor who is causing a disturbance over your relationship with most of the other residents.
You failed miserably in your goal to avoid causing tension.
Yta. You’re part of the problem, get a backbone
Thank goodness you avoided tension with your neighbor! That would have been rough. Phew!
YTA to yourself for not thinking this through. You made everyone who is complaining about the noise also mad at you, and the person who is noisy is still noisy. No benefits here, you received the consequences of your own actions.
Here’s the thing: are you TA? No, you’re allowed to set boundaries.
But by saying “I agree with yoy, but I don’t want to sign it” you did make it very clear to the majority of your neighbors, who ARE sticking their necks out to try to solve a community problem, that you want the benefit of what they’re doing without any of the risk. Congrats, you’ve possibly prevented an uncomfortable situation with one neighbor by creating an uncomfortable situation with 10 neighbors