hi guys! I’m a teenage girl and recently had the biggest fight i ever had with my best friend (who we’ll call jessica) . My bestfriend is someone who i’ve only known for about a year. Recently she had an accidental OD on painkillers. She didn’t tell me this for about two days. She told this new friend of hers (who we’ll call Olivia). When i got back to school after a week of being sick (The OD happened while i was sick) someone asked me what happened to her cause the ambulance came to school cause she was at school when it happened, i told them the truth, and accidentally overdose. My day continues and suddenly two of Jessica’s friends come up to me to tell me not to tell people what happened. I simply just say okay and move on with my day. At the end of the day i hear from two of my classmates that people from higher years have already heard of the accident. I make sure to tell them that it was definitely an accident. The next day i suddenly receive a text message from Jessica saying i told everyone what happened and that i told everyone she OD’d on purpose. I make sure to tell her i didn’t, but she keeps on saying that i did and that she heard from everyone that i did. At school Olivia, that new friend of Jessica completely ignores me, normally she would talk to me. I figure Olivia is one of those 4 people. I text Jessica saying ‘do you really believe Olivia above me?’. She answers this saying ‘Of course, everyone else also says that you told everyone.’ I text her back saying Olivia is the one who spread this and everyone is just agreeing with her. We argue about this for a while. In the group chat Olivia suddenly decides to call me out saying i’m a fake friend and i’m a liar. Saying i did tell everyone that Jessica did the OD on purpose. which i did NOT do. She says i’m a bad friend for not going to visit Jessica in the hospital (which i didn’t do because i simply didn’t have the time because both of my parents are chronically sick and i need to take care of my siblings.) and that she has been a better friend to Jessica in two months than i have in a year. Jessica was my first real best friend, i must admit i have issues with getting close to people and talking about my feelings and maybe that would make me a bad friend? I continue saying in this group chat that i was not the one who said that Jessica did the OD on purpose and that Olivia is the one you shouldn’t trust. Everyone believes Olivia and i’m seen as this bad person. I’m very scared that every single one of my friends will drop me because they’ll think i’m this bad person. I have this different friend group who are way less popular than the friend group of Jessica and Olivia. I tell them this story and tell them that Jessica has been talking bad about them since i knew her. This friend group completely understands me, I tell them everything Jessica has been saying about them. Now Jessica is even madder at me for saying this to them. AITA in this story?
NTA Take a break from these people.
will definitely do
NTA, and I would stay away from these people. There is no way the friendship is so valuable to you that it is worth bring treated this way, especially if your own friend wouldn’t immediately believe you or at least ask you before accusing you.
Should you have said anything about the overdose in the first place? No, but for all you knew, it was public knowledge, so NTA.
But: life is short. Make new friends and move on.
The ambulance came to the school, sometime greater than two days prior.
So, much was public knowledge from the beginning.
Sounds like there are a lot of toxic people in OP’s life.
Guh, NTA, regarding Jessica and Olivia, but totally the AH for being vengeful and telling your other friends she’s been gossiping about them for at least a year. Why even tell them?
Just because you were hurt doesn’t give you the right to hurt others, and it sounds like a manipulation tactic to ensure their loyalty to you. They just found out people were talking shit about them, of course they’ll be understanding of your plight because you’re a “victim” too.
If Jessica accidentally OD’d at school, she was either not taking them as prescribed (abusing them to get high) or bought them from some rando and got pressed pills laced with fentanyl instead. If it was real and she wasn’t abusing them, it’s also possible it interacted with something she already takes, creating a synergistic effect and thus, the overdose.
Either way, Jessica used a highly addictive substance and OD’d. Opioids are drugs that will take you to the depths of hell, ask me how I know (this is rhetorical). I suggest walking away from that friend group, they sound toxic…and so do you. Don’t bring that bullshit to your “less popular” friend group, they don’t deserve to be burdened with your drama.
You’re very young and have a lot of life ahead of you. Life lesson: keep people’s names out of your mouth. If someone comes to you with gossip, shut it down. For example, Susie tells you bob has 6 toes. Your response: “ok” then shrug or walk away or something along the lines of “I don’t talk about people when they’re not around. How are things with you?” Maybe I’m too old to be giving examples of shutting shit down, but that’s how I’d do it in the workplace.
Thanks for answering, i understand i shouldn’t have told those things to my friends and i’ll try to stay out of gossip.
Dont spread people’s business and this won’t be an issue. Accident or not, your response should have been “you will have to ask her”.
i honestly thought it was public knowledge
I dont know. If I accidentally overdosed id be pretty embarrassed about that and wouldn’t want people to know. I mean yeah, this other girl is ta for trying to start drama unnecessarily… but you probably shouldn’t have said anything in the first place.
NTA for defending yourself, but you’re definitely TA for turning on Jessica and telling the others she’d always badmouthed them before becoming friends. That was a low blow and Jessica is 100% right for being mad at that. You set out to prove you were a good friend and didn’t spread rumors that Jessica od’d on purpose and instead ended up proving you’re a bad friend by turning the others against her when they wouldn’t believe you.
What you need to do is tell everything how it is. Explain how when you came to school that day someone asked what happened to Jessica and you said she accidentally od’d, which you now realize you probably shouldn’t have done. That 2 of Jessica’s friends then told you a bit later not to tell anything to anyone, presumably not knowing you’d already told someone, and you agreed not to tell. By that time though, students had already started spreading the info and that’s probably how the “accident” part got left out. You did make sure to confirm it was 100% an accident when you heard 2 classmates talk about it. Then you need to apologize to Jessica for betraying her trust by telling people about her accidentally od’ing without 1st asking her if it was ok to tell (seriously, what were you thinking?). And you need to give her a 2nd apology for having betrayed her trust even further by telling the friend group she used to badmouth all of them all the time. You should also say sorry for never visiting in the hospital, that you wanted and feel bad about not being able to go but circumstances weren’t on your side.
Edit: words
ESH
Lots of mean girls in this story.
How many days were there between the incident and when she returned to school? And how many for you?
If you were out sick, why did she think you could visit her in the hospital? How many days was she there?
You also say your family was sick? So who WAS sick? Everyone?
She isn’t a real friend. (Are you?)
about a week, i was also sick for a week and couldn’t go to school. She was still in the hospital while i was already back at school. And she was in the hospital for about 3 days i think. And my parents are indeed also sick. So truly everyone is sick