So I (19M) moved to a new city a few months ago for college. I’m renting a small one bedroom apartment near the campus.
My cousin (21F) has always been a problematic family member. She switches jobs very frequently and constantly argues with my aunt, and has a history of crashing at our home whenever things get out of hand. About a week ago she called me out of nowhere saying she got kicked out after a huge disagreement with my aunt and needed a “roof to live under.”
I said that I would have to have think about it, but the more I did, the more I realized that this was a bad decision. My apartment is literally too small for two people. I barely have room for my own stuff, and we’re not even that close. Also, the last time she stayed with my family she ended up “borrowing” our personal items without informing us. She’s kind of a person to not feel akward and just not give things a second thought.
I apologized and refused her offer. She got upset about it and started stating that I’ve developed an ego and that I’m forgetting where I come from. My aunt also called me and indirectly started guilt-tripping me stating that her daughter had nowhere else to go mind you she kicked her out herself and basically saying that I was being prideful and selfish.
I apologized and told her I’m just a broke college student tryna fend up but she refused and said she’d remember “who was there for her and who wasn’t.”
Now I feel like I’m being overly self sing and over thinking the possible scenarios because she’s still family, but I also don’t want to degrade my QoL because I know how she acts and lives.
NTA make sure your parents know what’s going on
Nta. Hey, her mother can take her back if she wants to guilt you.
she needs to handle her own mess and not drag you into it, you gotta take care of yourself first
Sorry, but this story makes no sense at all. The aunt kicks out your cousin and then blames you for not taking in her daughter? Illogical nonsense. What do your parents think of this nonsense? Stop communicating with both your aunt and your cousins. ESH You suck for your lack of backbone. Your aunt and cousin sound looney.
She’s not your child or your sibling; she is not your problem. She should apologize to her parents and go live with them, not a cousin. You’re absolutely NTA.
NTA cousin can find their own roof.
And: Your aunt’s statements are ridiculous. “My aunt also called me and indirectly started guilt-tripping me stating that her daughter had nowhere else to go ” .. the direct answer is best: “She has, as soon as you allow her back. It is YOU making her homeless by kicking her out.”
NTA but your aunt certainly is! She kicks her daughter out and then castigates you for not taking her in! You are just settling in to college life and to being out in the world for the first time away from your family, and you don’t need a cousin crash landing on you and using your stuff and maybe arguing with you. This is your time to get to know yourself as a person and to grow your wings.
NTA. You didn’t deny her a place to live; you denied her YOUR place to live. You don’t owe her a place to stay, and especially not if she has this attitude with you over it. She needs to figure things out on her own; either she learns how to stop compromising her life at home by arguing with her mom, or she may need to move to her own place. Either way it is not your responsibility to get involved.
Your aunt ITA.
NTA – Don’t second guess yourself. I would possibly alert your parents just in case your aunt tries weaving a false narrative about this. If they also are offended, ask them to let her stay with them. Don’t start your adult life as a pushover. Stay tough.
Your Aunt kicked her out and then wants you to take her in. Honey your not the a**hole but it sounds like you come from a family of them. Do yourself a favor…count your blessings if these people write you off. They’re leaches. They’ll suck you dry until you have nothing left to give and then move on. You’re setting a precedent for the rest of your life. I won’t be taken advantage of. Sharing blood does not mean that you owe anyone anything. Stand your ground and don’t apologize for it. Get your education and go out into the world and build yourself a great life and ignore anyone who tries to make you feel bad about that.
She’s 2 years older than you. But expects you to house her? Why isn’t she out on her own if she can’t live under her parent roof/rules? And the aunt bashing you about it is looney
I find it hilarious that the woman who threw your cousin out of her house is trying to guilt trip you into allowing your cousin to live with you. Don’t fall for it. If she moves in your asking for nothing but problems.
NTA There’s a great rule for family favours: **If you can’t take “no” for an answer, don’t ask!**