Alright, before I start, I know I’m being a bit of a baby and could’ve taken the high road and shit, but I didn’t and yeah. I still don’t think I deserve to pay.
Me (17M) and my twin brother, I’ll call him Gideon, ride to school. Gideon has recently joined our school robotics team, and he is designated as the person to transport a lot of the equipment for the team**.** He carries like 5 boxes of robotics stuff, and has a half built vex robot that is always in the back seat.
This day I needed a ride from him. He was at robotics. I give him 8 calls, he never picks up. I eventually get in, and Gideon says about what you’d expect: "not a chance, wait here until 4:00pm." I have things to do, it’s literally finals week. He finally gives them to me and says this: "Be here at 3:55pm, ready to leave. I don’t want to wait."
I say deal and then go home, but before I can, he has me pull around so he can get all the robotics stuff from the car, which is like 5 boxes plus the robot.
At 3:45, Gideon texts me "4:30". I say fine. I eventually leave and drive the car down to the doors that lead to robotics. I get there at 4:30, maybe 1-2 minutes late. I call him. No answer. Call him again. Nothing. I call him 3 more times, keep texting him, he eventually says "wait a min." I wait.
At 4:40, I text him "leaving in 5 minutes." Reasonable, right? He asks for the ride at a time, isn’t ready, eventually I’m going to leave. He says "no", I say get a ride from someone else, he says if I leave I don’t get a ride tomorrow. I don’t really care. At the end of the day, he asked for a pick up and he wasn’t ready.
At 4:45, I leave. Almost instantly, he gets our mom to call me. She obviously tells me to turn around and pick him up, so I pull the U-turn and go back for him.
This is where I expect it to end. I’ll pick him up and then we’ll go home. But no. I drive right back to the doors. He, quite soon after I get back, rolls back out the 5 boxes and puts them in the trunk, then he opens the door, takes the keys out of the ignition, and then like clockwork, one of his friends lets him back in the building.
Now I’m absolutely pissed. And by the way, it’s cold. Like 30 degrees outside. The car is off. I start calling him, no responses. I text, nothing. I start honking the horn, still nothing.
I wait for upwards of 20 minutes, before finally texting Gideon this:
"How about this
I absolutely destroy this robot in the back seat.
And start dumping the bins on the floor
At 5:10
Sound good?"
At 5:12, I call our mom for a ride. Before I leave, all I do is put the robot by the door so that, if fully opened, it would get hit.
Anyway, Gideon apparently did open the door and damage the robot. He then had to buy new parts, expedite the shipping, and rebuild the robot. The total cost was $101. Our parents want me to pay it.
Again, I know I’m being a whiny petty bitch about it, but I still think he deserved it. Am I the asshole for (technically not) damaging the robot?
ESH. You could have just left the first time. You could have unloaded his stuff and set it aside. You chose to intentionally put his things in harms way because you were annoyed. Grow up, and learn to set boundaries. You absolutely owe him the cost of the robot, and if he wanted to go after you legally he could since you were dumb enough to put your intent to damage his property in writing
edit: just realized its not even his personal stuff, its the school’s. Depending on their policies you might end up in trouble with them for destruction of school property.
ESH. You are both AHs. Pay for the robot and both of you have some consideration for each other.
ESH. Your sibling was an AH for not respecting your time, obviously. And that’s an experience most people have. Your mom also sucks for forcing you to go through this with him.
But does that mean that you’re entitled to destroy property? In virtually every case, no. In fact, it might make you a bigger AH. I encourage you to not do things like this in the future, as you had the moral high ground until you destroyed his robot.
Placing the robot in a position so that someone else will unknowingly destroy it is the same as destroying it yourself. Both are actions that you take which lead to a destroyed robot.
You know that destroying the robot would be wrong. That’s why you didn’t do it and express it as “all I do is put the robot by the door”.
Gideon was being annoying, you are justified in being angry, you are not justified in destroying the robot. YTA
i mean yes YTA. you purposely but the robot where it woiod get hit by the door. your brother behaved badly but that doesn’t excuse your behavior and i am not surprised your parents want you to pay for the repair
Your parents need to up the natural consequences. Not only do you pay for the replacement parts, you also ride the bus or walk to and from school for the remainder of the year.
YTA.
[removed]
YTA. there were so so so many other options you could’ve chosen and you chose to literally put his robot where it *would* get hit. Not a chance of it, where it would be because there is zero sane explanation for putting a box there. You could have left and gone home, he literally wouldn’t have known until he realized you weren’t there then he could wait the 5/10/15 however long it takes to go back. Bring your stuff to study if you are worried about finals, it’s easy to spread out your stuff in the backseat. He is an AH for the time issue but you had 45 minutes to sit there and think of what to do and you chose the volatile solution. Pay for the robot.
ESH. You and your brother have a lot of growing up to do. Resentment destroys relationships.
YTA
Either way you’re making your parents pay for your tantrum
🤷♀️
ESH but you more because it wasn’t just ur brother’s robot, it was the whole teams robot, so you didn’t just punish him.
Ur mom is an AH too for not standing up for you too. Just idiocy all around
ESH. He sucks for stringing you along, and you suck more for destroying his property.
In the future, just don’t ask him for rides. When you depend on someone else for rides, that often means having to go with *their* schedule, even if it’s really inconvenient.
You were an asshole and should pay for the damage.
Ok, so here is the thing.
At the end of the day your story is pretty irrelevant. All it is expressing is a series of frustrating events, inconvenience, and to a certain degree friction in sibling dynamics. That’s it.
The behaviour you chose to respond to that was facilitating property damage. That was your *chosen* response.
I’m not surprised your parents want you to pay. In fact, your parent would absolutely suck if they didn’t. That your child *chose* this pathway to respond to pretty much most things as a course of action would catch the attention of most parents who are trying to give their child good coping strategies.
You were childish yes. But even children (in fact even quite young children) who damage things when frustrated are redirected to find other ways to cope with those feelings. Being “childish” is not going to change the concern your parents are probably feeling.
YTA my friend. I’m sorry you had a bad day/experience. It however is not in your best interest (let alone anyone else’s) for you deal with bad stuff this way. Good news however! There are heaps of other more effective coping strategies to deal with negative stuff that makes you appear capable and cool under stress, and that is attractive.