I met this girl from Cali on Instagram a couple months ago. We connected over art and EDM, and I told her I go to Miami every year for Art Basel. After talking for a while, I invited her to come. She bought her flight, and I covered the hotel, car rental, and our tickets to Club Space. She said she’d send me money for her ticket and never did, which bothered me a little since it was her idea.
Our plan was beaches, food, art shows during the day, and EDM clubs at night, just the two of us. I normally don’t travel like this with someone I haven’t met yet, but because of my job I fly to different states weekly, and the week before Miami I happened to be near her city, so we met in Cali and had a great time.
Fast forward to Miami. On our first night out it’s around 2am on the way to Space when she tells me some of her friends from Cali are also in town. I figured maybe we’d bump into them. Once we got inside, she kept disappearing to meet up with them, sometimes for 30 minutes at a time while I stayed dancing. Later during the sunrise set, I went to the restroom and came back to find all her friends in front of us. She didn’t introduce me, just pointed at them.
Around 8am I told her we should plan to leave around 9–10am so we could rest and eat before an art event we had tickets for. She told me I could go if I wanted but she was staying with her friends. I thought she was joking, but she repeated it again. They were all on drugs (including her), so she wasn’t tired. I barely drink and don’t really do drugs, so I was exhausted.
I went back to the hotel. Since she didn’t have a key, I told her I’d keep my ringer on so she could call when she got back. I fell asleep around 10am. At 2:30pm she still wasn’t back. I texted her asking about the plan for the day since our event tickets were for the afternoon. She replied that she was “on a bender” and said she’d be back soon. I told her to send me her ETA because I was heading out to eat at a spot I’d planned for both of us. She never sent anything.
By 5:30pm I texted again asking if she was okay. She didn’t reply until almost 7pm, saying she’d knocked out and didn’t hear her alarm, and she mentioned the art event like she’d send me my ticket, but it ended at 8pm, so it was pointless. I had literally been worried they’d gotten into an accident.
Originally I planned to talk to her in person about how I felt, because I put this whole trip together with her in mind, and the second her friends showed up she basically ditched me. But the more I thought about it, the less comfortable I felt even having her around, not for myself, not for my stuff.
So I texted her explaining how everything bothered me and told her I was checking out since I didn’t need the room, she was the only reason I booked it. I packed up her things and left them with the front desk so she could pick them up when she got back. I figured she could stay with her friends.
NTA, sounds like you dodged a bit of a bullet with this one
This is what drugs can do to people, unfortunately. Better you found out before the greater sunk cost.
Nta totally fair reaction
NTA – If she chose to be with her friends, then so be it.
NTA she completely blew you off and went on a drug bender, does not seem like someone you would want to invest more time in. You got lucky by realizing early on she was not worth your time.
You did the right thing. Dodged a bullet too.
Good luck
NTA! She’s the A! Totally disregarded your effort and commitment of your resources to enjoying her company. If she couldn’t even apologize for being distracted by her friends and drugs and ditching you, then she’s not worth it. She’s lucky you even let her know that her things were packed and available at the front desk. Hopefully you’re able to enjoy your time in Miami despite her disappearance.
NTA. Unfortunately, bad experiences are the best teachers. Chalk the money spent as a fee to find out what kind of person she is: not someone you want to be with.
What did she text back after you explained how her behavior was bothering you?
And I don’t think it was necessary to meet her in person. That would have been a waste of your time and energy, and she’s not going to learn anything from it. Better to protect your peace and your time and just leave her. The text to her was more than enough.
You had the perfect reaction, don’t feel bad at all.
Not only are you NTA, I applaud you for your judgment and decision to just checkout and leave. I suspect she went with the intention of meeting up with friends and basically used you to get there for free. You did good!
Bruh, you set up a whole vibe and she ghosted you for a bender with her friends? Nah, you handled that perfectly. You didn’t sign up to babysit her or her bad decisions, and leaving was the only sane move.
NTA but sounds like she just used u
N T A
Exhausting!
NTA but you should’ve never planned all this for someone you’d never met before to begin with.