Hi reddit, I’m using a throwaway for this.
I’m turning 16 in 3 days. My birthday celebration is going to be booking out a restaurant with my whole family. My aunt, (45f) is a very opinionated person who talks before she thinks. It can be endearing and also very aggravating. This instance was aggravating.
Me and my cousin are very close and have always been that way. I’ve never seen it to be a weird thing at all. We had a dinner last night to celebrate an anniversary of one of our uncles. Me and my cousin were sat at the table, laughing about inside jokes and whatever. My cousin grabbed my shoulder while we were laughing because he was like doubling over laughing, and my aunt made a face. I tried to ignore it and just assumed it wasn’t at me. But then she kept making jokes, saying we were like bf and gf, and then started to say maybe we should sit a bit apart, and it’s weird for boys and girls to sit next to each other at the table.
My dad immediately told her to cut it out and stop being weird, and we were just playing around. My aunt said she was uncomfortable and made my cousin move down the other end of the table. All the adults kind of tried to tell her she was being weird and to chill out and she kept saying “no, it’s about time someone said that wasn’t normal.” She was a little drunk so I kind of kept quiet and tried not to cry bc I was rlly grossed out but my dad wasn’t having it. He told her to stop thinking of everything with such a dark mind and we were family laughing and having fun and she was being weird. My aunt started yelling saying it was creepy of him to stand up for that and boys and girls should be separated. My grandma stood behind her nodding. I started crying bc I got rlly overwhelmed and my dad said “okay, it’s time to go.” My aunt kept yelling about how it was weird and I was being weird as we were leaving.
My dad talked to her this morning and she’s stood on what she said and said I was crossing boundaries. My dad said “great idea. you won’t be coming to her birthday.” And hung up. I didn’t know he was going to say that but thanked him and agreed when he said it. My grandma is backing my aunt saying she was right and to uninvite her is embarrassing for us. My dad is saying his SIL needs therapy and what she said was disgusting. My cousin messaged me saying sorry but we haven’t been texting much at all.
I’m just wondering if there’s something wrong with what I was doing, she seemed to feel strongly about it, as well as my grandma. My dad is saying I’m not in the wrong, but he can be protective and is wary of telling me if I’m in the wrong sometimes. AITA?
Edit: sorry if it’s confusing. wrote this rlly quickly as I’m finishing smth due tomorrow. if u wanna ask questions abt something I left out or didn’t word properly feel free to ask me. 🙂
2nd: sorry. the title doesn’t match with what I wrote. I only said I disinvited her because my dad said that, then apologised and asked if it was okay and I agreed and said I don’t think she should come.
I get that the conflict concerns your behavior, but you’re not actually one of the people in it – it’s between your dad and your aunt. That said, I think your dad is right and your aunt is wrong.
You did nothing wrong, your aunt has a dirty mind.
NTA
NTA. Your aunt is a sicko. Maybe something happened in her past. Whether it did or didn’t, she’s projecting her issues onto you. It’s good your father is protecting you front that nasty behavior.
NTA Sounds like your aunt is projecting her feelings about relatives onto you. Maybe she likes your cousin like that
First of all, *you* didn’t uninvite your aunt, your father did, but NTA. You’re not doing anything wrong. What’s too bad is that your aunt not coming apparently means your cousin isn’t coming either. Maybe shoot him a text that you wish he could be there, just so there’s no confusion on his part about the decision having anything to do with him.
yo ur aunt is wildin! lol like seriously?? shes 45 and still thinks boys and girls cant be close without being weird? nah ure def not in the wrong here!
NTA. She was making things weird. There is nothing wrong with being close with your family, laughing, clutching onto one another when laughing hard. It is a perfectly acceptable thing to do with your family.
She’s living in her own head about this, it has nothing to do with your actions as you describe them. Your dad knows this, your other family knows this. Your grandma and your aunt are in fact being weird. Let them be embarrassed, they should be for acting as they are.
Have a great 16th birthday without them.
dude your aunt sounds like she be livin in the 50s ngl, shes the one being weird tbh
NTA. Your aunt is weird. She probably liked (or did more) with one of her cousins and is projecting.
I had two really close girl cousins growing up. It wasn’t weird. We just had a great time together.
I am sorry to say it but the aunt and grandma probably had some Shady Things occur to them back in the day.
They have become hammers. To a hammer, EVERYTHING looks suspiciously like a nail to strike at.
NTA, your aunt is the one that’s weird.
NTA. Your aunt has some strange ideas. Your grandma is wrong about this being embarrassing for you. It’s only embarrassing for your aunt. Good on your dad for making a move to protect you from the weirdness.
NTA Bro never speak to this woman again. She’s so weird for that….
NTA, not at all! OP, you’re a 15-year-old kid. Let your father protect you. It sounds like he’s doing a good job.
It also sounds like your aunt’s problems have more to do with the idea of two cousins of different genders being close, rather than the reality of how you and your cousin are actually behaving. It would not surprise me if your aunt or your grandma had bad experiences with male relatives. Unfortunately, that’s fairly common, and it’s also fairly common for that info to be hidden from the rest of the family.
However, your aunt’s hypothetical bad experiences don’t excuse her behaviour. It’s wrong of her to push her sexual anxieties onto you, when you weren’t doing anything inappropriate. You’re allowed to laugh with your cousin! You’re allowed to make casual contact! It’s really messed up that she’d try to shame you for having a good friendship. Because that’s what she did: she shamed you. Publicly. That’s not okay. I’m really glad your dad is standing his ground on your behalf. Hold your head up, OP. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.