Ok hi little background info on me and my mother.
Im a result of WILLING teen pregnancy, I (17, Afab) Am Mentally Disabled, got the card and all that. i have been through therapy since first Grade until now, And have been living with my grandparents since birth.
My father has the same story, but he’s an angel so im not gonna mention him.
My mother is double my age, Moved away from where i live to live with her Online bf. who she currently has a child with.
My relationship with my mother was, confusing for me. I believe she tried to care, She visited a lot back then. Played the mother role, But most of her attention was for her online Boyfriend.
When i was around 1-3 Years old she moved.
Ever since then she was Always messaging my grandparents on Whatsapp to check up on us. wich i appreciated.
timeskip to when i was in primary school, wich for me was 1st – 6th grade.
i was around the 4th grade, When my now aunt and uncle were getting married. Me and my grandparents were invited, and ended up going that afternoon.
My mother was invited too, And we ended up having a cute little bonding sesh.
But during the ending of that. She just looked at me, And in complete honesty.
"I don’t see you as my child, Only as a friend. Maybe just someone i know."
I was young and couldn’t comprehend these words, and i just assumed the worst. wich i thought it is.
It only got worse when i went into my first rehab at 14 To get psychological help, that she just said "You’re not Ill, you’re just Emo."
After i got out in 6 weeks. I stopped responding to her.
When i had to change highschools to a special school, I didn’t even tell her about how ill i am because I didn’t trust her.
But last year i did end up telling her.
And all i remember from our text conversations.
She believed if i had lived with her, I wouldn’t have any mental illnesses, I wouldn’t be disabled. I wouldn’t have Autism. etc.
Mind you, I have over 7 diagnosed Disorders.
I had enough at that point.
I ended up blocking her, told my grandparents. they were on my side, telling me that im mentally too young to understand.
I genuinely do not know if i did the right thing.
(Also, this is my first time posting, so sorry if my Post goes against any rules!)
Sooooo NTA. It’s very, very clear who the asshole is in your situation. Going fully no contact with her will only bring you peace.
Thank you! it’s good to hear! sorry i just genuinely can’t tell good from bad 🥀
NTA. Your mother is absent and that means her opinion means nothing. Stick with your grandparents, and any other family who have actually taken an interest in caring for and supporting you. You owe this woman nothing.
If, and that’s a big if, you want to have a relationship with this woman in the future, keep in mind that it is on YOUR terms, not hers, and it starts with her acknowledging the hurt her absence AND her dismissal of your barriers has caused.
NTA at all. You were aware enough at a young age to know that she wasn’t a good person to be around. Whatever issues you might have in discerning social cues, you nailed this one. I’m glad you have grandparents who support getting you real help.
Your bio mother has no privilege to know anything about you going forward. You didn’t deserve any of her horrible words you are not TAH
NTA all signs point to biological parent being TA….