so my best friend is getting married soon and she just picked the bridesmaid desses, they are 300$ each and that doesnt even count shoes or hair. i work two jobs and barely make rent as it is, i told her iu probably cant afford it and she got super mad, said i was ruioning her vision for the wedding and being selfish. i feel like a terrible friend but i literally dont have the money . AITA for choosing my rent over her wedding ????
NTA you should never go into debt for a wedding… especially one that isn’t yours!
NTA.
She’s more concerned with her “vision” and photos than for those in her wedding.
She wants to put on a show and your participation was part of her casting. However, you are your priority cuz you certainly aren’t hers. Pay your rent and skip the bridesmaid dress and all the other expenses that she will have for you.
Mmmm I’d say NTA. Peoples entitlement for weddings is out of hand. You’re saying you can barely make ends meet w/ 2 jobs, her expectation is too much (I’m sure others would disagree w that but o well) And assuming she knows this already about you/your finances
Nta she doesn’t sound like a very good friend. She knows your financial situation, but still is trying to make you spend $300 for a dress? If she wants you to wear it then she should be the one to buy it.
NTA.
If your friend is so concerned about her vision being ruined, what’s stopping her from getting the dress for you? If you can’t get the dress ($300 on a dress you will use probably once is absurd anyway) then you can’t get the dress
NTA. I am so sick of people treating their loved ones like props at their weddings. She can choose between her “vision” and her friend. I’m sorry if she makes the wrong choice.
she wants you to be homeless for her vision? that’s not your friend
NTA
She’s ruining your vision of paying your bills
NTA. If she really wants you in the wedding party then she’ll figure it out one way or another. It is not your fault that she set a financial barrier.
I’d of paid for any of my groomsmen to get to my wedding, or any associated expenses they couldn’t cover. I wanted them in my wedding.
NTA. Friends don’t expect friends to go into debt for them.
When I married, I paid for the bridesmaids dresses and the tux rentals. That is what needs to be normalized.
Shame on your friend for not considering the financial impact of being in a wedding.
A roof over your head, or a dress to be worn for a few hours?
Hmm…
NTA of course. And don’t say “probably”. You **cannot** afford the dress, let alone all the additional costs. The irony of your friend calling you selfish, eh.
Step back from your bridesmaid role and relax into the role of guest if your friend doesn’t adjust her expectations.
If she then uninvites you, she isn’t really a friend.
NTA – if you are truly an essential component of her vision, she will cover your dress and related expenses.
NTA. What the fuck is wrong with people these days?! Politely tell her that you definitely dont want to cause her any stress about her big special day, you won’t be able to attend as her special day will cause you financial strain and that you wish her the best. Then move on from that shit because a person who acts like this isnt a good friend in my opinion.