My roommate has her boyfriend stay at our apartment 4-5 nights a week and the other 2-3 nights a week she goes to his place. Can’t remember the last time they spent the night apart.
She cut her foot while at the beach, and has been leaving used band aids in our shower. I threw out the first 2, but then she left 3 more and they were all over the shower floor and the shelves. I went to her room and because her boyfriend was over asked if she would step out into the hall for a minute and had her close the door. I asked her if she could stop leaving used band aids in the shower and she was like oh I’m sorry I didn’t realized I was doing that.
The next day she sends me a long text about how I talked to her at a completely inappropriate time, it was embarrassing for her, and that I should only have those talks with her when guests aren’t over.
I get that idea but she has him over literally every day and on days he’s not there, she is also not there. Is he still a guest at this point? Also he literally showers at our place like 4-5 times a week so he’d see the band aids if it wasn’t for me picking them up.
Am I the asshole for talking to her about it while he was there ?
Does the bf pay rent for living there?
No. He has his own place
He lives there more than 50% of the week. He’s basically a non-rent-paying tenant. He stopped being a guest after 1 month of that schedule.
Yes, he’s officially a roommate. He needs to pay rent and have assigned chores.
OP needs to check the lease she signed to check the rules about overnight guests
NTA. You were way nicer than most people wouldve been. He doesn’t count as a guest at this point and if he’s always there when she’s there then idk what she expects 🤷♀️
NTA. You made the effort to give her some privacy. If she expected you to wait until her boyfriend was gone to even talk about something she did presently, that’s unreasonable.
What a lovely opening.
“I am SO glad you brought up the fact that he’s spending so much time here–we’ve been needing to talk about that for a while. For *quite* a while.”
NTA and what a fortunate opportunity she’s given you.
NTA.. at this point, he’s no longer a guest. He’s basically a tenant. And he’s her bf. If he can’t hear things about her, I’d suggest they both move out. Lol.
Also, fkcn nasty af 🤢🤮 I don’t wanna touch anyones used band-aids. I woulda yelled down the hall for her to come clean em up. Tbh
NTA. Let her know her guest is there every night she is so there is not another option.
NTA.
No. I thought you were very polite. She felt uncomfortable and wanted to shift the blame on you.
Boyfriend should be paying 1/3 of rent and utilities.
NTA. Embarassing her in front of the boyfriend? The door was closed!
And yeah, if you left it, the guy would have seen it.
Also, you shouldnt touch her bloody bandaids…
NTA. Yuck.
Also, I think that opens the conversation of the fact that he’s pretty much living there. I’ll bet you didn’t agree to a third roommate.