I (21F) went alone to an exotic male dancer show to have a fun night out. After admission, I upgraded my ticket to VIP. The man who helped me upgrade turned out to be one of the dancers, though I didn’t realize that at first.
He was friendly and flirty and helped me find a seat. During the first part of the show, he checked on me, joked with me, and I tipped him. He wasn’t overly physical. When we took a photo together, he added himself to my social media and suggested I meet him backstage, which I declined.As the show continued, two other dancers began flirting with me and putting on a more engaging performance. I matched their energy, danced with them, and tipped them as well.
After that, the first dancer made comments like, “If you wanted someone else, you should’ve just told me,” and “Your actions clearly showed you didn’t want me.” This caught me off guard because I didn’t think there was any expectation of exclusivity, and this was a paid performance.
After the show, he offered to walk me to my car and said he had been trying to hint that he wanted to talk to me afterward, but I was “too distracted” by the other dancers. I apologized if I hurt his feelings and told him I was going home.
I didn’t intend to upset anyone and thought I was just participating normally in a show I paid for. I’m wondering if I missed some unspoken rule or if I was wrong for entertaining multiple performers.
AITA?
NTA. Dude wanted to fuck and was upset that you didn’t seem interested.
I am guessing for money too and was disappointed not to be getting paid
I tipped him twice or three times, and he’d barely stick around for more than a couple seconds before going off and walking around to the other ladies too. 👎
Yea he wanted 100% of the tips from you and other customers.
You paid him for upgrade….you didnt need to interact more if he didnt show u the attentiveness
NTA, it’s your money and who you spend it on along with your time is not their concern. You owe no one anything especially your attention. If they expected more from you then they should’ve expressed that in the beginning, instead of complaining about not getting your money or attention. They’re an adult and need to learn boundaries, especially for being in the male entertainment profession.
NTA
just male ego hurt and bad communication of his just expecting he has right over you
It’s not about ego, its about money. They are at work and competing for the customers most likely to leave behind most money.
NTA. You’re a paying customer—you can do what you want. Surely you’re aware that all the friendliness and flirting is meant to separate you from your money. He was sulking because other guys were getting some of your tips!
You were smart to not agree with going backstage. Be safe!
Bahahahaha. A possessive stripper. Bahahahahaha
NTA
He seemed kinda creepy imo, like buhu.. stop moping around and find another paying costumer
NTA
He was at work and didn’t want to share the money you were leaving behind.
Girl, why do you go to these things?
Do you get something positive out of it? It sounds awful to me.
Sorry to say this, but they were not flirting with you, they were performing for your money.
Dude…do you judge a guy going to a strip bar?
She had her own money to spend and enjoyed herself. Let her.
Also everything is performative if you overanalyse. Your partner gifts something…still a transaction.
Yes they were flirting…and they did it well that she tipped. Transaction. They made her feel good, and she showed appreciation for their efforts.
He added himself to your social media and wanted to follow to your car…. er … thats not safe!
Nta but also boundaries.