For context, I (23F) have one dog. I moved into an apartment with my long time best friend (22F) about six months ago. Before we moved in together, she agreed to help care for the dog while I’m at work, since we work opposite hours. All I asked her to help with was letting her out once at night, making sure her bowl had water, and feeding her dinner on nights I work later than usual. But more often than not, I come home & my dog hasn’t been let out since I left, and has no water in her bowl. I confronted my roommate about it, to which she said "she forgets because it’s not her dog," which I understand, but we agreed on this before we even signed our lease, & I really don’t feel like I’m asking that much of her. AITA?
>Before we moved in together, she agreed to help care for the dog while I’m at work
NTA. You asked, she agreed. She’s TA for not holding up her end of the agreement.
NTA. If she agreed prior to you guys moving in together then she was aware of the responsibilities, her dog or not. Could potentially ask her to set some reminders or even message her to make sure if possible?
NTA, but that isn’t going to get your dog walked or fed. Can you text her a reminder every day around the time you’d want her to eat/go out?
NTA She can’t just back pout n give silly excuses like wdum u forget an entire dog n sage shouldn’t have agreed if she didn’t want to do all this
U should really find an alternative don’t want your dog suffering with her
Ok – Maybe you could text your roommate polite reminders to let your dog out? Set a timer for them? You could get a water bowl that re-fills from a tank, to take the pressure off so it’s only the one ask. Eating dinner late should be fine sometimes. Is your roommate forgetful about other things? Any signs of ADHD?
You aren’t the asshole for expecting help that she promised you, but you need to try to take some things off her plate (like the water) and work with her on solutions. Pets in reality can be a lot more work than we think in theory. NTA.
ESH – she agreed to help, so you are counting on her to do so. She should not have agreed if she didn’t want to help. But at the end of the day, your dog is your responsibility. No one else’s. Hire a dog walker.
ESH. Even if she agreed, expecting someone to take care of a dog that isn’t theirs is still not the best move as the dog is your responsibility. But since she agreed she should also hold up her end as well.
ESH. I’m guessing she didn’t understand the extent of what you were asking her at the time. I don’t own a dog because of the work involved. If someone needed me to help take care of theirs on occasion, sure. But if they expected me to basically be a second caretaker to it, no thanks.
You need to figure out an alternative. An empty water bowl is an easy fix – get a bigger bowl. If you’re going to be late, text her and specifically ask her to do what you need. Perhaps even offer an incentive. Maybe you pay a little extra on rent in exchange for her helping you. This isn’t her dog, and you need to remember that.
get more water bowls and text reminders if she’s open to it, or go back on your break to let the dog out
Get a bigger water bowl. As for the food and letting the dog out, it’s not her dog, and if she isn’t an animal person, it’s going to annoy her. Either pay extra on rent, or find something you can do for in exchange for helping you out. You could also pay for someone to come in when you work late, but that could get expensive unless you live where there are some kids who just want extra cash.
YTA. It’s YOUR dog. She shouldn’t have agreed to that arrangement but maybe didn’t realize at the time how time-consuming it would be. She’s allowed to change her mind about taking care of YOUR dog.
YTA
It’s your dog. It is 100% your job to feed, water, and take her out. If you’re not available, you need to pay a dog walker or sitter.
If you pay her for caring for YOUR dog, then it’s her responsibility. Otherwise, it’s on you. Completely. No matter what she agreed to.
Invest in auto feeder and waterer and pee pads! ESH