So here it is. I live with my mum, and she runs errands once or twice a week.
I have a friend who comes over “to help” sometimes, but in reality she mostly just hangs out in my home. She cooks from time to time for me and herself, and clean.
She never asks before using things and helps herself to whatever she wants without asking, sometimes stuff I bought for myself.
I am not selfish, and my family is generally very generous, so I didn’t say anything at first. I noticed things were missing, but it didn’t bother me too much (up to a point).
Recently, she went into a cupboard and took my mum’s expensive chocolate (a gift she had received) and ate it. Later, she told me only because she found it disgusting. When I told her it was my mum’s, she laughed and said, “Your mum is going to ask why some chocolate is missing, haha.” That was it. No apology, nothing.
I feel this crossed a line. I don’t really mind her taking food meant for everyone (even if it would be better if she asked), but when it comes to my mother’s personal things, it really frustrates me.
she eats snacks, and when I want some, I realize they’re gone. I’m not talking about one or two biscuits, but a whole packet of brioche, a jar of Nutella, yogurts, etc. She never helps financially or brings food to the house.
I also realized that I always pay for takeout, and she never does.
Once, I left bags at her place with three packets of expensive organic biscuits that I need for my diet. When she returned the bags, the biscuits were gone. She told me she had eaten them.
I haven’t said anything because I avoid conflict, and my parents raised me to be generous with guests and not keep track of what they take, especially when they help a bit by cooking or doing the dishes.
So I don’t know if I’m overreacting or how to talk to her about this without sounding selfish.
Edit : I am disabled, so she comes for company mainly and sometimes helps (last time she changed the sheet, she once cleaned the kitchen)
I also have this pressure of not being able to give a lot in a friendship due to my condition ( Ive seen it in the past, and lost most of my friends due to this condition)