I (27 F) have been with my boyfriend (26 M) for a little over a year now, we’ve been alright in the beginning but things started to shift overtime. Sometimes when I say something, he immediately criticize me and just blatantly tell me I’m wrong or just say that I’m being unreasonable. I get that sometimes I spew out some things that don’t sound great, but it’s my raw unfiltered thought. It just feels like he’s just nagging over me, like I didn’t ask for the nag. I just wanted to say something, I didn’t need the input.
Idk if I’m making sense or I’m just over reacting. I know that you need to filter your words and think about what you say. But idk I feel like as a partner, instead of criticizing so harshly, if what I said was TRULY and UTTERLY wrong… Maybe just say it gently? Guide me, instead of criticizing.
Or am I just emotional? Idk but so far what I know its PMO.
EDIT: So people have some context on how it usually goes for us.
Like for example we had an argument on some topics like some people write some disgusting stuff on pictures before. Like the before internet age, when people used to send postcards and pics, came across this pic on social media. Someone wrote abt giving head and just doing all the nasty things written on the back of a developed picture… He said why is that disgusting? Have you looked at yourself? (mind you I already said "yea i know im like that too, that’s why Im saying its disgusting") Then he still proceeded to talk like I’m judging the person who did that, while completely ignoring what I said. THEN proceeded to be mad at me because I wasn’t in the mood to talk anymore.
(when i mean disgusting like it’s freaky, which i dont really mind cause Its completely normal and im like that too. I’m human after all)
ESH this post hurts my brain
Agree no detail
Maybe you could include an example of what you mean?
No examples included. Hard to tell who is TA here
Whyy are you with him? Sound incompatible, and like you annoy him too.
NTA. Even if your feelings were outlandish, over the top, unreasonable, the normal response is NOT to act like he’s acting. That being said, are you being rational? Overall, you deserve to be with someone who respects you, but if you feel like sometimes you overreact or have emotions that aren’t proportional to the situation, you should work on that but for YOURSELF and YOUR OWN quality of life. Not for some stinky man. Be with someone who respects you and make sure your emotions are working for you not against you.
Thanks I’ve been quite vocal with him esp when I feel like I’m being cornered LMFAO. I know that I have some issues to work on and he knows that too. I am very much open about it. Also told him about just being heard and like actually someone who instead criticizes me, guides me. But yeah…… Thanks I’ll keep this in mind, might prolly confront him about it again, maybe I wasn’t too clear last time.
NTA
This isn’t going to get any better. His mask is slipping. Time to go.
why are you dating somebody when you don’t like each other?
Usually there are plenty of other things they like about each other and someone like this isn’t indicative of a deeper insane or manipulative underlying issue. But it’s hard to tell from just the context of one post from one perspective.
NTA. You just dont like him anymore. Find your balls and simply tell him, sorry this isnt working for me anymore. Give him the old its not you its me line. And then leave!
Relationships are optional
ESH –
You two are not compatible. You are hurting each other with the inability to communicate, but you both are choosing familiarity and comfort over moving on.
You are not wrong, but you are not right.
He is not wrong, that using the word disgusting sounds like judgement. But he isn’t wright to say that you are disgusting to insult you.
When the fight is to “win” or “be right” and not to understand each other better. The relationship is lost. It is only a matter of time or else suffer a life of incompatibility, stress, and loneliness.