So to give some context:
I have been in business 13 years, and currently live in Asia living fairly comfortably with my wife and son.
My brother was living in the UK and has had some mental health issues through drug abuse and getting mixed with the wrong crowd. He’s been a menace at times over the past few years, ran away and in his early 20’s.
I wanted to help so I thought it would be a good idea to invite him out here to get him out of my single mums house so she could have some breathing space.
He came out and traveled Thailand, then fast forward to today, he is editing videos for my Youtube Channel.
At the moment, the Youtube channel is taking up a lot of my time and also his. But I have committed to paying him for a year which ends in 2 months.
I feel like I am putting a lot of time and effort and sacrifice into building this opportunity and channel just so he can be out here in Asia.
His alternative is to be in the UK again living with his mum and having very few prospects.
Instead, he is living in one of the most beautiful countries in the the world, has his own apartment and is working from home or anywhere he wants.
But here’s the kicker…
I feel like he wants his cake, but doesn’t want to be all in like I am.
His friend is visiting for a week soon and instead of us trying to get ahead with videos or improving his skillset, he’s more interested in doing the care minimum during that week and meeting up with his mate.
I don’t want to feel like an asshole or to be selfish, but am I over-reacting?
I’ve put my other business on hold to try and build this new one with him to help HIM get out of the UK and to build a life for himself. And he’s going off with hi mate for a week of travelling.
I feel like a mug to be honest and I feel like I have been lumped with this responsibility where if I keep him, I’m stuck with this ’employee’ who isn’t fully committed.
But if I let him go, I risk him going back to the UK, getting depressed again and me being indirectly to blame for anything that happens.
Please help me wrap my head around this. It’s a touch thing to deal with.
His friend is visiting, I guess a friend he can’t see all the time, and you want him to be working flat out so he can’t even hang out, or you’ll fire him, and this is how you treat your brother? yeah you’re a major arsehole lol
Indeed, this. And to add, employees have to right to take days off for holiday. And by what he wrote, his brother isn’t because he’s still doing the ‘bare minimum’. Meaning, whatever the bare minimum is, is still sufficient. Otherwise it wouldn’t be the bare minimum.
My guess is he’s missing friends from back home, moving half way around the world is hard being isolated. He’s 20 and may not have your drive for hard work yet. Give him some slack while a friend is visiting, let him know after he needs to pick up the slack as you need to work on your own business. I’d say you are judging too harshly but understand your frustration.
NAH but you also can’t control what another person wants out of life or work.
If you weren’t related, he would have the freedom to decide what kind of job he wants to pursue. To quit a job without work-life balance, to be a delivery driver or to work long hours, whatever he can manage. He’s an adult.
If you weren’t related, you would also have the freedom and responsibility to set expectations for your employee and then pay/hire based on those expectations. Depending on Thailand’s labor laws, you might also not have the ability to make an employee work more than a certain number of hours during the holidays without overtime anyways.
Have a frank conversation. Then hold up your end of the agreement.
It sounds to me he is working for you.
That being the case he can’t just wonder off whenever he feels like and expect to have a job when he returns.
That being said it looks like perhaps you weren’t totally clear about your expectations. And you can’t expect him to be devoted and passionate about YOUR project and business as you are. He’s just an employee.
How I would handle it: I would sit down with him and lay down clearly what your expectations are going forward. What his responsibilities are and if you want to be a motivator share your plans and ideas for the business so he may feel part of it. I would also let him take the week off with his mate this time with the understanding that commitment has to improve in the future.
It’s YOUR business, not his. You shouldn’t expect him to have the same feelings about it. As long as he’s doing his job he should be able to do what he wants. If you want him to do more work maybe you need to manage him better, give him a schedule or a list of requirements.
does he not get a vacation sometimes? like i get op is working hard but a week off is too much? it’s not even a week off he said he’s working minimum needed for the week. it’s op’s passion project and bro is an employee it’s not his whole life.
YTA. Your brother has worked for you for almost a year and you’re upset that he wants to take ONE week off? Do you expect him to take no time off at all?
INFO. Your brother has been working for you for 10 months, has he had any vacation during that time other than working in one of the most beautiful countries? You don’t say he hasn’t been working hard the past 10 months just upset he’s going to take a week off. As the boss have you set up schedules so you have extra videos as backup for his time off? A week holidays in 10 months is not unreasonable. As a content creator having content in reserve is smart in case future content doesn’t work out, sickness, vacations etc. Could you do compilation, or best of content during the week of? You were editing before he came on board, why not just edit while he is on vacation? You are all in because you are the primary beneficiary and it’s your project.
If you want to treat him like an employee, then you need to go all the way. He either needs to “clock in” a certain number of hours a week, or he needs to produce a certain number of videos per week, or whatever. The point is, give him measurable guidelines, and leave it at that. What he chooses to do in his free time outside of that is none of your business.
I’m sure it’s a great sacrifice for you to make YouTube videos about fancy watches so you can buy more fancy watches and try and get free fancy watches. Truly, you’re doing it all for your brother.
YTA. He’s not your servant. Get over yourself.
INFO. How is his work ethic until the friend visitation? If it is OK then I don’t see any problem with him doing the bare minimum while having a visitor. It’s better than him taking time off.