(18M) My little cousin looks up to me as I’m the oldest male in our entire family, every one else is either his age or younger. yesterday was his birthday. I was sick because I walked to the store in shorts while it was freezing, either got sick from that or from a sick classmate the day after I did that. So obviously I skipped class, I was sleep for majority of yesterday and I was only woken up by my little brother calling me. I was tempted to skip but I decided “why the hell not?” And answered, we chatting for a few minutes then he handed the tablet to my aunt.
Keep in mind all day something was nagging me that I forgot something, my cousins birthday is in the same week as my mom so I usually remember quick. This year I actually had money since im an adult so it felt good being able to start splurging on families birthdays.
My cousin overhears me and says “OP! HOW ARE YOU! Today’s a special day guess why?!”. By this point I actually remembered after seeing his face, so me trying to be cute i say “Why is it a special day! (cousins name)?” Growing up my aunts all did this to me so I expect him to excitedly say “BECAUSE ITS MY BIRTHDAY :D” as what I normally expect from kids. He starts crying and walks away and I start apologizing but my aunt says he’s just being dramatic and let’s it slide. Normally I give kids $10 or less, but I felt bad and gave him $20 (Apple Paid to my aunt) which my aunt thanked me and said I didn’t have to to. IN MY DEFENSE when I’ve been told “guess what?” I’ve always said what.
I repeated the story to my sister and got told a similar story by her.
Soft YTA and here’s why. In your hand, right now is a powerful computer that has a calendar function. Today, now, you should be putting EVERYONE in your family’s birthdays WITH a week remainder. So, if little cousins birthday is 11/14, put two reminders in your phone for next year, one on 11/7 and one on 11/14.
Do this for your Mom, Dad, Aunts, etc.
I’ll accept my judgment, but thats what I’ve been doing for the start of this year but I set them for the day of instead of the week before. Idk why tf I didn’t just look at my calendar 😭 it’s one of those big rectangles above my apps.
Edit: Forgot to add his name wasn’t on there yet for some reason, just added it.
You can add multiple reminders. Like one for the week before and another for the day off.
NTA. I respectfully disagree with scooby946. You initially forgot (happens to the best of us) but you remembered by the time this interaction happened. You did what I would have done. Your response of “Why is it a special day?” would have basically been what I would have said. I guess it does depend on how you said it but it sounds like you were playing into it. I would have just pulled him to the side and tell him that I knew it was his special day. I do think one thing was left out that is important…How old was the child? Their age kind of matters here.
He is 11 now, glad im not the only one who would’ve said the same thing 😭
Not the *asshole* per se, but obviously that particular cousin is not the one to be played with like that 😏
NTA
Neither you nor your cousin are at fault. He’s a little kid, so I wouldn’t expect him to understand certain social cues (even if they’re obvious to us). I’d gently explain to him that you *knew* it was his birthday, but you were simply asking a rhetorical question. He’ll probably still be upset for an hour or so, but then forget about it after that.
Just don’t worry about it, man. Things like this happen. I’m sure he’ll be able to tell you’re being genuine.
Info: what does the first part of your story have to do with anything? Did you actually forget the birthday or were you just trying to mess with your cousin?
Shoot my bad, I’m used to subreddits having a minimum word count so I add backstory.
I was sick, but initially forgot but I knew something was today, so I slept while I was trying to remember .
When I saw his face on the call THATS when I remembered before he even asked, I only said what I did to try and be cutesy like my aunts.
YNTA, You were sick, exhausted, and genuinely forgot it happens. Kids take things to heart, but he’ll bounce back. You apologize, you made it right and your aunt didnt think it was a big deal Dont beat yourself up over this mistake.
Your cousin clearly looks up to you. You’re not an A, but you did hurt his feelings. Sending some money is nice and all, but try something heartfelt. It doesn’t even have to cost money… If he collects rocks, find a cool one and gift him. If he’s into art, draw him a picture. Whatever his thing is, try to do something that will make him see that you were just under the weather, and it wasn’t intentional.
I feel like birthdays are such a big deal as a kid, try to validate that for him.
He’s really into beyblades and dragon ball like me.
Sadly I can’t visit yet due to college constraints but if I can go to thanksgiving I’ll try to do something cool with him or call him later on tomorrow since he’s sleep by now
NTA! Being away at college, your cousin probably misses you and thought you had completely forgot. Poor thing, next time you’re home, definitely try to hang out with him.