For context, I am 15f and my sister is 10. So recently, I have started to feel a little jealous, and it makes me feel terrible about myself
Recently our exams took place, where I didn’t score good enough, I just passed(30 out of 37 students failed) and she had scored more than 80% in her exams, so it was quite natural for my parents to appreciate her and give her a lot of affection, and to scold me. But for some reasons it made me jealous, prob because of them always scolding me and not even listening to me and giving her all the attention.
A nye, my started to paint, thinking I will start this new year by doing something that I love, but as it was nearing its completion, my sister spilled water over it. It was natural for me to get angry because it took 5 hours to complete, but when I went to tell mom, she just told me it ignore it
In everyday life too, my parents will prefer to side with my sister, than with me, even when we fight (where I scream and she starts hitting me very hard).
Today, I wanted to use a winning trick of chess on my dad, which helped me win a lot of games, but he did something the other way and my entire game was thrown off. Not to justify, but I played the game poorly and I lost the game. He told me that it was the most terrible game that I ever played with him. Then my sister played with him, which she also lost, but played very well, and I appreciate her for that, but my dad is now repeatedly telling me (in a taunting way) that I should learn chess from her.
My parents also keep comparing me with her, that how I should be like her, be more organized, be more serious about my studies, be more nice, and tell me that how they still love me even though my grades have degrade from 91% to just passing
so, AITA?
Edit: My sister has downplayed me on many occasions, Like saying that "you are good for nothing" or "you don’t know anything", and she got no reaction from my parents.
NTA parents should stop comparing siblings. This will creatie friction also later in life.
This is really difficult to judge on whether you are the asshole or not. Not because your feelings are invalid, but because your sister doesn’t seem to have done anything here. With that I’d say a soft ESH, but your parents are way more of the asshole. You deserve parents who love you both equally. You deserve to be recognised for your accomplishments. You deserve to be listened to, to not be constantly compared, and to be taken on your own merits. But this is all on your parents, not your sister. Don’t be jealous of her, because she isn’t doing anything you’re not. The issue is your parents. Sorry to say, this likely won’t go away. It’s ok to want their approval, because you’re a kid, but there’s a real chance that even if you did everything perfectly, they’d still behave the exact same way.
She’s not an asshole for feeling this way at all. It’s pretty normal to feel jealous of someone getting treated better than you. She isn’t taking her jealousy out on her sister, she’s keeping it in her head and feels bad for it so how is she an asshole exactly ?
If you are in any way taking out your parents’ behaviour on your young sister, then YTA. I know it’s a very hard thing to do, but you need to make it VERY clear that what they are doing is hurting you and your relationship with them and with your sister. It’s likely they don’t get it (even if you may have told them before). Does your sister go to bed earlier than you? If so. could you come to them some evening and ask to talk? You should use your own words but something along the lines of this: ‘Mom, Dad, more and more recently, you’ve been scolding me or teasing me when my grades are low or I don’t do well at something. Please can you stop as it’s really making me feel like I’m failing, especially when you compare me to my sister. I’m starting to feel resentful when I hear constant praise for her and constant negative remarks about me. I love her but the comparisons make me not want to spend time with her or with you”.
I’m really sorry you are going through this and hope your parents are just being clueless idiots and will try to do better once they understand the impact their words can have. It’s not intentional bullying but the hurt is still real.
NTA. Bluntly, your parents are playing favorites, and that would make anyone feel jealous. Constant comparisons, dismissing your feelings, and taunting you instead of supporting you is not okay.
You’re not wrong for feeling this way, you’re reacting to being treated unfairly. Jealousy isn’t the problem here. The parenting is.
If you are 15 I don’t think you are an AH at all.
It’s natural at your age to look at family dynamics and feel aggrieved and to feel sibling rivalry.
I could say try to focus on the positives, talk to your family etc.. but I doubt it’s easy to do at your age.
Hang in there, it will get easier. X
NTA, it’s normal to have a little sibling rivalry, especially if your parents are playing favorites which your parents obviously are.
Just concentrate on being the best you that you can be and know that life gets better. You won’t live with them forever. Once you go to university, everything will change, probably for the better but that’s really up to you. You said that you used to make better grades? How about you buckle down and bring your grades back up? Not for your parents, but for yourself, so you can get into a good college in a few years and get away from all that. You’re going to be okay. Hang in there!
NTA – parents are being bad.
ESH. Your parents for playing favourites but you for taking you anger out on your sister. Like why are you fighting so much with a 10 year old that you count it as “everyday life”?
ESH?