I 16f decided to go to a convention with my two friends and when we were on the train travelling to get up there we decided to talk about one of our other friend that has be making everyone uncomfortable so we were talking about the thing that has been getting on our nerve but we were only talking about them for 15 minutes and other than that we had a really fun day out at the convention
One of the friend that was with me let’s call the N so N and let’s call the person we where talking about L so L and N has been friends for 4 years and me L and N has been friends for like a year
After a fun day we all went home and I was really happy about getting stuff off my chest about L then the next night N texted me saying that they felt really uncomfortable about talking about L and that how that was really shitty of me and told them all about how I was talking shit and laughing about it and making fun of them
Now the other friend I was with his name is M and they HATE L always has so they were the one mainly talking about L and I was just putting in my 2 cents but here is the funny part N was also talk REAL bad about L I would say more then me and agreeing about everything that we were saying too
So for them to go home and tell L that it was just me saying stuff and over exaggerating it and making it out like I was the bad guy and defending themselves by saying that L is there best friend and that me and M were in the wrong
So obviously I yelled at them and told them that they had no right to do that and that I was going to tell L all the stuff that made me feel uncomfortable to them face to face
When M spoke to N about how that was wrong and that I’m extremely upset about it they told M that I "should of thought about that before I said those things" even tho they were doing most of the talking
So when I talked to L about my side of the story they told me that they didn’t care about what I said and was just mad about how I talked about them behind their back which I apologized for then N had the nerve to say that they felt really bad about what they did even know they were telling M that they didn’t feel bad and didn’t know me and M what were on call the entire time and how M was on my side about this and M told L that some of the things that M said n told L that I said all those things and not any of them
So AITA for getting mad at N for telling L and making it out that it was all me not them and M
NTA but you learned a very good lesson that you don’t talk shit to people who know the other person without *knowing* they won’t blab. You’re young – so this is just a learning moment that we all have around your age.
I mean…. they shouldn’t have pinned it all on you. But wouldn’t you want someone to tell you if you were being talked about behind your back?
Esh, if you talk about the tea in front of the ingredients you need to be prepared for the fall out. You all shouldn’t have talked shit, if you had an issue with this person being annoying you should’ve told them. Otherwise it’s just catty what you’re doing. But it also does suck to know exactly where you stand with your friends, this is just exhausting all around
Yeah ik I have definitely learnt a lesson lol
I mean idk what you were all saying specifically, but there’s a difference between talking shit about someone and venting to close friends about struggles you’re having with another friend. Part of friendship is helping you navigate other relationships and vent. Talking shit is when you don’t have any personal issue or complaint with someone but say negative things about them for no reason other than general dislike.
ESH
Don’t talk shit about people and you won’t run into this problem
The moral of your story is clear:
***Don’t say anything behind someone’s back that you aren’t willing to say to their face.***
ESH for childish drama.
YTA.
Don’t talk shit about people, no matter who is talking shit and you won’t have this problem.
The best policy is don’t say anything about anyone unless you’re willing to say it to their face. Even then, don’t say it unless you’re OK with someone else telling them you said it.
YTA
NTA but at the same time as comments have said you shouldnt have joined that convo.
Then again you are still young this is a lesson learned for you. Also take into mind that L and N have been friends longer than you have been. L WOULD BELIEVE N either way because of the basic friendship loyalty card.
You are in the loosing side even if you didnt talk that much but still said something. When it comes to talks like that people always drop the one they have been friends with for a shorter time span.
Great minds talk about ideas. Average minds talk about events. Small minds talk about people.
NTA sounds like N and L should not be your friends anymore