bestfriend decided to borrow money from my bf without telling me first, like who even does that you don’t borrow money from your friend’s s/o without telling them first, right? they both srsly pmo when i found out. my bf is somewhat like a people pleaser so i doubt he would have refused, my best friend said that it was an emergency and when i found out the reason she just wanted to surprise someone with a cake. i don’t think anyone with a sane mind would even think of borrowing money from a friend’s s/o especially since they weren’t friends beforehand and just met cos i introduced them to each other.
That is kinda weird. NTA
I’d be very embarrassed if a friend of mine asked my partner for money. That is way to it of line.
lol, you know who’s probably more embarrassed?? OP’s friend that needed to borrow money.
BTW, it was around $30 US dollars
well she didn’t “need” to, it was to buy someone else a cake
Sometimes people will go with the person who will say yes, or she was embarrassed to ask you. I assume they are friends enough for her to feel comfortable asking.
I assume you found out because one of them told you? I also assume the cake was not a lot of money.
Your s/o should stay on track with her paying it back. Going forward you can ask your partner/bf to defer to you with said asks.
NAH
my bf was the one who told me about it and she payed him back the same night i confronted her about it but her asking money from someone that she only met in person once is kind of off
Eh. Is it a little weird, sure. Maybe you can ask her why she felt more comfortable approaching him. Maybe she is ashamed to admit to you she was in a financial spot. You can let her know it’s better to come to you and you in future, and will help if you can / it’s an actual emergency.
Glad it was paid back.
Info: how long have you been together, are you married, how much money is it?
YTA
No one… And I mean NO ONE needs your permission/approval to borrow or lend money. Your bf is an adult and so is your friend. Fact is, it was none of your business.
yeah i know that it’s none of my business who he lends money too but if ur bestfriend keeps asking favors (not just money) from some of ur past relationships wouldn’t you find it weird too?
Nope. I’m way too old to be worrying about trivial stuff like that. I leaned a LONG time ago that if I don’t trust someone, they aren’t worth my time. So if this is an issue with you, then it’s time to decide whether this is the right relationship for you (whether that’s your friend or your bf, that’s for you to decide).
IMO, if you can’t trust that your bf and friend aren’t just being good people to each other, then you’ve got a trust issue that you need to address. Would I borrow money from my best friend’s gf??…. I dunno. It’d depend on what I needed it for, how much I needed, and if I’m close enough to the person to ask. What I will say is that if I really needed the money, I’d be willing to set aside anyone feeling “uncomfortable”. I’d also not think twice if it was for $30 so they could buy small gift.
Your friends doesn’t need your permission to ask someone in this case your BF to borrow money. Just like your BF doesn’t need your permission to loan the money.
If you were married and shared finances that would be totally different but considering that you aren’t then there is no permission needed for either of them.
Unless she was friends first with the bf before you and he dated, I’d find it very weird her borrowing money from him. And I’d even reconsider my friendship with her.
I ended a relationship because I had a bf who did the same thing. He borrowed money from my friends and to make things worse, failed to pay them back as promised. The only reason they lent him money was because he was my bf. They wouldn’t have given him money otherwise. I didn’t know about this. I only found out after he didn’t pay them back. The whole thing just gave me the ick. I pushed and pushed for him to pay them back. He finally did. And had him pay me back too (he also owed me money). I then ended the relationship. I just couldn’t be with him after that.
Some boundaries don’t need to communicated. They should just be understood to be there and shouldn’t be crossed.
NTA