So me, M16, and my now ex girlfriend, F17, argue a lot. Right now, she is out of state, at a show choir competition. I’m going to try to summarize, as best I can, what all happened. My ex, we’ll call her Lady, and I, have remained friends after our breakup. We broke up due to her needing to work on herself, or so she said. After this, we were still exclusive, as we planned on getting back together. In her words, it was a break. She added, and started talking to, and hid from me, a guy who had asked her out multiple times and was very obviously interested in her romantically. And to me that meant she emotionally cheated, however she denied it and still persists in denying it. Anyway, Lady wasn’t technically allowed to talk to me, as per her mother’s request. Her mother is very strict and sorta controlling, so I was basically a secret for many reasons. Anyway, this time, we argued because I confronted her for everything she’d done and everything she’d still actively been doing. A lot of what she did was deny everything and try to turn it on me, as she typically did. I talked to her about how she had cheated on me, how she had emotionally manipulated me, how she had constantly put me and my feelings down, how she expressed signs of narcissism, etc.. And throughout all of that, she had called me crazy, controlling, manipulative, and a liar who makes stuff up. I’m purposely leaving out a fair amount of details because there are far too many details to include, but you get it. Anywho, she said something and it eventually set me off. I told her I was going to tell her sister about everything about her and I, and that meant her sister would tell her mother. And so that’s exactly what I did, despite all the begging she did for me not to. I still feel really bad and genuinely like a bad person because I know she’s going to get her phone and basically all of her freedoms taken. I try to tell myself that it’s justified and she’s getting punished for actions she knew she’d get punished for if she did, but I still feel bad. I have her blocked on anything and everything now and plan to never break no contact, but I can’t help but have it weigh heavily on my mind. If you have any questions, please ask, as I know I did leave a lot of info out.
YTA. You tattled on her. On purpose. You didn’t do it out of concern for her or anything, you did it because you were having a tantrum because you weren’t getting your way about something.
To be honest, you do sound controlling and manipulative. She’s taking time to work on herself. You should absolutely do the same.
I don’t know if she cheated, and it doesn’t matter. The point is that you knew she wasn’t supposed to be talking to you, and it would get her in trouble, and you told on her. She trusted you to be a safe person and you aren’t, just because you got in your feelings.
He actually admitted that she didn’t cheat. He said *emotionally* cheated. That translates to “she has friends, and that makes me feel inferior.”
OP definitely sounds like everything you described in your response. Definitely The arsehole.