I 19f was on an Airbnb trip with a large group of friends, one of them is this guy I’m not that close with him/ wouldn’t know him as well as some of the others I’ll call Adam
I’m in the shower and he’s waiting for me to get out , I do and then Adam immediately goes into that bathroom for his shower. But after a minute I realise I left my phone in there I was using for music so still unlocked and everything.
I shout in at him to open the door I need my phone. He says nothing. The doors locked but you know the way bathroom doors in homes you can just kinda turn the lock from the outside with your fingers with some effort (well at least here you can idk about everywhere else obviously) I do that and open the door and go in to get my phone.
I don’t look at him, I just go get my phone from where it was and get out. Hes overreacting the entire time like making a massive scene over this. People came over to ask what happened and I explain just went in to get my phone. I told him I was opening the door and knocked and everything but opened it quickly for obvious reasons.
Adam comes out after his shower and asks me if there’s something wrong with me. I explain to him he’s a man alone with my unlocked phone and when I’m asking him to open the door I’m getting no response. I was panicking and it wasn’t unjustified and neither were my actions. He wasn’t on my phone I’m not accusing him off that but I couldn’t have known that till I opened the door.
Adam said he couldn’t hear me because of the shower and that isn’t justification for doing that to someone and he seemed genuinely upset by this. I didn’t see anything I wasn’t looking at him I was looking for my phone, and second I got it I immediately ran out of there and even apologised on the way out. So we argue back and forth on this for a bit until we’re told to stop.
Later one of my friends who’s closer to Adam than I’d be is talking to me about it. He asked what I seen and I said NOTHING omg is I wasn’t trying to ogle at his dick just get my phone. He mentioned Adam has scarring on his thighs didn’t say what from or the extent of it or where it’s from and what I thought he was going to say was that’s an explanation as to why Adam acted that way, like it’s something he’s sensitive too. Instead he used it to lecture me in a really patronising way on why some people would feel awful about what I did. Like going on “some
People have stuff they don’t want people
To see” like that wasn’t the whole reason I went in there was for my own privacy.
I tried explaining I really didn’t have a choice but he said I was being a bit ridiculous with it. So now I’m conflicted because I don’t see how ANYONE could’ve possibly just left a man alone with their unlocked phone but I’m open to other perspectives.
YTA. The door was locked. He was showering. You can live without your phone for the 15-20 mins it would take him to shower
YTA. If the roles were reversed you would have been crying blue murder.
YTA do you even need to ask? You broke into the bathroom when someone else was in the shower.
YTA. How would you feel if a male friend of yours walked into the locked room where you were showering? Especially if you were self conscious about scars.
YTA. You violated someone’s privacy because you “needed” your phone. GIve me a break, you won’t die without your music for the minutes it takes a guy to take a shower. You could have easily waited for the water to go off and then call in to him to please hand you your phone. Your expectation that other people care what’s on your phone is way overblown.
YTA. You broke into the bathroom through a locked door! This is completely unhinged behaviour. You could have just waited until he was finished having his shower and had left the bathroom.
YTA. You definitely could have waited the 10 minutes for him to finish showering. I can’t imagine any scenario in which I would be okay with anyone entering the bathroom while I’m showering, let alone someone I’m “not that close with”
YTA, you unlocked a bathroom door when you knew someone was in there
YTA
I won’t even bother to explain in details because it’s just obvious.
Stop thinking about yourself for a second and consider how your actions make other people feel.
YTA. The door was locked. He clearly wanted privacy. Exactly how would you feel if he picked the lock while you were showering and just waltzed in? All over a phone that you can survive without for 15 whole minutes.
The likely good of him going through phone is way lower that the likelihood of you walking in on him naked. So violating. This is appalling behavior.
YTA I can’t believe that you’re trying to justify this.
YTA. I don’t get what the big deal about an unlocked phone is. What did you think held do with it?? Plus my phone automatically locks itself quite quickly.
Unlocking the door and walking in while someone else was using the bathroom was unhinged and OTT. And if it had been the other way round?
Reverse the situation – how would you feel, regardless of whether Adam saw anything. You would have called him a creep and DEMANDED that your friends exclude him from the accommodation and the rest of the trip – but it’s okay if you do it? YTA
Girl. You don’t get to violate his privacy because you neglected your own privacy by leaving your phone in the bathroom. He’s taking a shower. You can wait 15 minutes. If your privacy is so important, put a passcode on your phone. YTA.