My husband and I have an eleven year old and an eight year old. On most (basically all) Saturdays he likes to take them out to do, basically anything around the time the housekeeper comes. Sometimes I tag along sometimes I stay at home and enjoy the free time.
Last Sunday, I wanted to see a show with my husband, and he bought the tickets and everything. On the day of though, he said that I could go by myself or with a friend because he was "tired" from being out with the kids the day before. I think he just didnt want to see the show. Because he’s *never* tired when it comes to doing anything else even if he did spend the day with the kids before. And other excuses like "we go on dates on Friday anyways."
I did go with my friend though, and I guess my husband thought that because I found someone to go with I wouldn’t be upset about. I guess I had been giving him the cold shoulder for a few days. He told me that I was being overdramatic which upset me more.
AITA?
YtA for being passive aggressive instead of expressing your feelings.
YTA
From the post it sounds like he normally does go out with you and keeps commitments in general. Your husband is allowed to be tired ONE Sunday. It’s not a big deal if it’s something that happens only once in a while. He is being a present father to his kids, not every father does that.
INFO did you talk to him about how you felt before giving the cold shoulder? What he did is pretty rude imo since it was last minute and you wanted to see it with him, but not talking about it and just ignoring him isn’t great either. Not overdramatic, just not communicative I would say.
Being tired isn’t always a physical thing. He may well of been mentally exhausted and just wanted some quiet. It’s quite insulting that you give him the cold shoulder when he gives up Saturday to let you have some quiet time to yourself.
YTA
You’re not a child, stop acting like one. The cold shoulder is never healthy or helpful. Communicate how you feel to your husband and have a conversation about it.
Grown ass woman with a child giving the cold shoulder
YTA. Use your words to communicate with your husband how you feel. Ignoring or being short with him is immature.
Also your husband can be tired one time after taking the kids on Saturday and not the next. It sounds like this is one time, not a pattern.
He’s seems great, works five days a week, take the kids for a full day. You have a housekeeper that allows you time for yourself or with the kids on Saturday. I also suspect your week is a busy as his. You also have Friday date nights.
He bought the tickets to a show. Unless this is a common occurrence, you’re busy cancelling, you’re an a-hoke.
YTA
If you failed to explain clearly to your husband why you were disappointed he didn’t want to go with you. Or if you explained but didn’t like his reply and are therefore giving him ‘the cold shoulder’
Don’t do the passive aggressive cold shoulder nonsense. Show your children that adults can agree, disagree, negotiate all in good faith and with respect.
YTA – you’re being passive aggressive. That means anger issues. Freezing someone out because you didn’t get what you wanted is manipulative. You go on date nights every Friday. He takes the kids out on Saturdays. You have a house keeper. And you’re refusing to talk to him because HE WAS TIRED.
Do you appreciate your husband at all? Do you like him? Why stay married if you don’t trust him to be honest that’s he’s tired and you secretly think it’s because he doesn’t want to spend time with you doing what you like?
YTA. A) he could have just been tired. B) instead of voicing your displeasure, you gave him a cold shoulder and he was probably walking around confused why you were being shitty to him all day. Just be an adult and vocalize your wants, this isn’t high school for you anymore.
Date night every Friday, free Saturdays, a house keeper and show with a friend? Sure does sound unbearably awful, keep playing your games let’s see what the prize is. YTA.
YTA. Why are you giving him the cold shoulder? Communicate ffs. Unless this happens often where he bails on plans the two of you make, this is not a big deal.
Yes, YTA, because you’re being passive-aggressive instead of expressing your hurt feelings of rejection honestly and openly. Your husband isn’t a mind reader and should not have to guess at your feelings.
The cold shoulder? Are you 12? Adults talk out their problems.