I moved into a friends house they were renting. I found a roommate, someone I knew but not super well. I went from living alone to having a roommate and we have enough space to be separate but it has been clear we want different things out of where we live. We have made it work despite bumps in the road as roommates do. Four months before our lease expired they brought up resigning and I said yes because it felt easier than trying to find a new roommate. There have been bigger bumps in the road that have all been followed by productive conversations. Our renewal is up but since I am friends with the landlord they haven’t been rushing us. Now instead of a full year renewal I am proposing a 6 month renewal to move in with my partner, therefore the roommate would move out. This conversation of a shorter lease comes after one of our bump in the road conversations and I am feeling anxiety around that. I know they love this house but this is my arrangement and my friend who is the landlord is pretty clear that this is, for all intensive purposes, my house and I have final say over who I live with. Having this conversation within a week or so puts us at a 5 month mark before lease is up but is two weeks after a boundary setting conversation and I fear that they two are going to feel very linked. The roommate wants to have more parties and is far messier than I am and I am excited to take the next step with my partner but feel bad that the roommate is getting the boot.
NAH. It really really bothers me that at its core, this is really about you backtracking on a conversation they already had; but this is about a lease and you don’t have to agree till you agree. The real issue is when they asked about renewal, you lacked courage to be honest. Rubs me wrong way, but I don’t think that makes you asshole.
Totally get what you are saying, and contributes to why I feel bad. I disagree that is is that I lacked the courage to be honest because at the time my partner and I hadn’t discussed moving in but their lease is up in July and having flexibility being that I rent from a friend we were able to make it work.
\* for all intents and purposes \*
I was going to say N T A as long as you told them now before they signed the lease. however you have left it right up until you need to sign the lease before deciding this and so you have given them no opportunity to look for another rental. for that reason I am going with YTA
In fairness to OP, they are suggesting renewing for 6 months so that the roommate has that entire time to find a new property, rather than renewing for the standard 12 months. I found it a bit confusing to follow, but essentially OP is saying they’re happy to renew to give their roommate some breathing room, but once that 6 months is up they won’t be renewing any further.
I’m a little confused about the timing. Are you telling the roommate they have to leave early? If so, not ok
If however you are planning to stay and they still have to leave then absolutely fine.
Which is it?
No! I am proposing a 6 month lease as opposed to a 12 month lease.
NTA this time, but try telling the truth in the future. It’s never easier to stay with something that isn’t working for you. The resentment will always build and become worse over time.
NTA
girlll you gave a 6 months notice which is actually generous af like that is MORE than enough time to find a place
you’re allowed to want different things out of your own living space and move forward with your partner
Five or six months notice seems like a reasonable time. I know someone who was only given two weeks to find another place and move out.
NTA for needing to change the lease arrangement but you could also have told them when they asked four months ago, since you already felt that way. You could have just said your partner will be moving in so they will need to find other accommodations in six or nine months.
Going to go with NAH. Would you be breaking the lease your roommate already signed? You might be making a big headache for you and your friend/landlord unless they don’t have a signed contract. Why not just say “hey, my partner and I are talking about moving in here together and I want to add them to the lease to have our own space”? At least that’s your actual reason and doesn’t leave it up as the assumption of retaliation. Honestly, most people get way less than 5-6 months notice when they have to vacate. It’ll just come down to whether your roommate has a contractual right to be there until a certain time or not. If your landlord doesn’t renew the lease with them, then they have to go as they’re no longer allowed to rent there.
Without knowing the backstory behind the ‘bumps in the road’ I’m going to say NAH. It’s a learning curve to not swallow your discomfort in future and don’t agree to resign with people you don’t like living with.
5mos to move is plenty.
NTA, but you’re over complicating things. You’ve provided ample notice. You don’t need a reason other than “I’m ready to live with my partner now” and “the landlord has agreed to renew the lease with my partner and me.”
You don’t need all this justification about bumps in the road. These things happen with roommates—you move on in life and in with other people.