I’m a 25M I have been in a friend group for over 6 years now. It’s me my two bestfriends, my brother, and two girls. We’ve all been close for years as we grew up in the same city with a lot of mutual friends and didn’t start really hanging out until 2019. We’ve partied, gone on trips, celebrated birthdays etc. the usual friend group activities. We don’t hang out as much anymore because everyone is busy with work and whatever else going on in their lives.
I’ve been in a relationship for almost 8 months now and my gf knows about the friend group. She’s only met the girls a handful of times but doesn’t really know them.
One of the girls we’ll call her Jess called me about a week before her birthday and asked if I was down for a small dinner with just the core friend group, which is what we’ve done her last couple of birthdays. She specifically said no significant others which is kinda the reason why she called me to clarify it was nothing personal against my girlfriend and she wasn’t trying to exclude her any way, she just wanted a close friend dinner.
When I told my gf she immediately said it made her uncomfortable and she thought it was weird if I were to go and she wasn’t invited. In the moment I told her I wouldn’t go just to avoid the conflict of it all, even though I didn’t fully agree. Jess doesn’t really know my gf, and it’s her birthday so I didn’t think it was that crazy.
For context my gf does know that Jess and I kissed about 5 years ago. It was literally one time and nothin came from it and we’ve been platonic ever since.
As the week went on I kept thinking my girlfriend was making a bigger deal out of it than it was. On the day of the dinner after work, I texted her saying I felt like she should trust me and that it was just a group dinner with friends. I kind of worked up the courage to do so after my brother called asking if I was going and said she was blowing it all out of proportion.
The restaurant was close to my work, so I drove over. I was going to tell her once I got there, which I admit wasn’t the smartest move. Before I even arrived she checked my location and called me. She started crying and saying I was choosing another girl over her and completely disrespecting her feelings.
I do admit I handled the communication badly, but I didn’t agree that going to a group dinner meant I was choosing someone else over her. I still went to the dinner.
After the dinner the group decided to go play pool and I went with them. My girlfriend saw my location again, called me, was cursing at me, and told me if I didn’t go home immediately we were done.
AITA?