So today in the morning, I went to the downstairs toilet earlier because the upstairs one was occupied, I took the key with me and locked the door before going downstairs, I was in urgent so didn’t really get time to tell my mum that I was going to downstairs toilet. When I came out, my mum stopped in the middle of her exercises and took the key and went upstairs, then when I went upstairs a few moments later she started yelling and screaming at me about how I gave the other people in the house (since it’s a shared house) chance to enter our room because she thought people did that in the past, I just stood whilst she was yelling at me with a very loud voice and didn’t say anything.
She asked me why I didn’t tell her that I was going to downstairs toilet, I didn’t really answer. She then said it was clear the door knob had been touched and someone entered our room because she couldn’t open the door properly using the key. She screamed at me that I’m stupid and my ‘brain was full of sh\*t’ (literal translation into English). She slammed the door extremely loudly when she left the room to go downstairs and continue doing her exercise. A few minutes later, she came back up into our room and checked the whole room again, including in the cupboards and under the bed and looked around the room, seemingly to make sure nobody else was in the room or had entered when the room was locked earlier.
I doubt anyone would have entered.
AITA/Who was in the wrong here?/Did I do anything wrong?
Does she have mental disorders by chance? Her reaction is off.
NTA. You should be able to go to the bathroom if it’s an emergency.
Mom seems pretty unhinged but….
“Not to brag by my intuition is usually right”
Bruh…. Just no to this. You don’t have some sort of intuition super power and better not keep going through life thinking this.
NTA – but none of this sounds like a normal household / parenting situation
NTA Your mom sounds super paranoid. And what were you supposed to do? Urgency is well… urgent.
NTA. Her behavior is strange, her reaction was extremely exaggerated, not to mention what she said to you. Seems there might be something going on with her
Nta. However it does sound as if your mom is having paranoid thoughts, either from ptsd or some other mental health issue. If that is the case nothing you say or do is likely to console her. She does not feel safe unless she can control the situation to her liking. It may not make any sense to you, but at the same time your lack of concern doesn’t make sense to her. If it is an option I would highly suggest talk therapy for the both of you. The longer she lives in the fear her mind is creating, the deeper it will settle in her until she can’t leave the room at all for fear of her thoughts becoming reality. Be patient with her and remind yourself that her fear, while irrational, is very real to her. You may need another adult who she respects to approach the idea of therapy. It’s much harder for a parent to hear that from their child than from someone outside of the situation. If you are able, seek counseling for yourself, if for no other reason to learn some coping skills and ways to diffuse situations like this without feeding her paranoia. Best of luck.
Info: do people live downstairs? People who aren’t your family? Is this a house? An apartment?
Sounds like HMO.
HMO? Where I am that’s a medical imsurance type
I think this story would be clearer if you explained how the house is set up and where the bathrooms are.
Which door did you lock going downstairs? If it’s the door to your room/apartment, why did your mother think people could get in if you locked the door? Or does that simply make no sense?
Are the bathrooms outside of people’s apartments? What was so serious about going downstairs?
Your mother does sound like she’s overreacting, but without understanding the situation, it’s hard to know what’s going on.
Are you In some sort of communal housing and you used the communal toilet? It sounds crazy but if she is living in an unstable environment and has come from a bad situation it’s actually pretty rational that she got so stressed. Give her some grace and reassurance that you always lock the door and ask her to try and not shout at you in the future.
You live in a room with your mother in a shared house?