Okay so I study a lot and tend to score high grades on most of my tests while my friend I’ve known all my life doesn’t study and just copies my answers on test day which honestly I don’t mind because It’s never bothered me
But recently my teacher has accused me of cheating with him because our answers are so similar and if we don’t cut it out she will deduct points from our grades (we are in our final year of high school so it will impact what university I get in) so I told my friend that he’s on his own because I don’t want to risk having my grade nuked Just because he doesn’t study.
Which he replied and said I was a dog whose throwing away our friendship over a stupid grade because apparently I’m not sticking by his side and figuring out a way to get around the accusations instead of him just studying or me even tutoring him.
But I think we should just study and help him get through a test on his own for once. Its to the point where we are in 5/6 of the classes together because he is so reliant on copying me and he put in the same electives as me and asked to change classes if we weren’t together.
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Are you going to do his work for the rest of your life?
NTA. Do not let someone that you have already outgrown pull you down to his level. You have the skills and ambition to continually learn and develop — he doesn’t. You want to work for your own future — he wants someone else to work for his future. He’s a cheating liar, and unbothered by that. You are…also a cheating liar at this point, but you don’t want to be, and you should honour your own ethics by stopping that behaviour.
I guarantee that within 6 months of graduation you’ll see clearly that this guy is someone you don’t have much in common with, not the real things that count in the long term: values, worldview, ambition, and self-worth.
Don’t let this guy hold you back. And honestly, if you’re motivated by caring about him, you’re holding him back if you keep enabling him.
NTA
You need to look after yourself in this situation. Your friend doesn’t seem bothered by how their actions are effecting you and your future.
Remember that they also benefit from you letting them copy your work. What do you get from that transaction?
Hate to say it. But if they’re trying to make you risk losing all the effort you’ve put into something since they can coast. Don’t really sound like a friend to begin with.
Let’s say that you let them copy and they get whatever grade they need. They’re never going to fully understand the subject. High school education should give you a good foundation for further studies. If their foundation isn’t good then they’re going to struggle with any further learning.
But yeah NTA
NTA, he’s not the one that’s going to carry you through the rest of your life, why carry him through this part of it when it could cost you a lot more than a friendship.
Do your thing, let him fail if he can’t keep up. Better he find out now when he can still recover his sad excuse for a life than later when he’s ruined more than his own life.
Like he said, it’s just a stupid grade. He’s the one who’s threatening your friendship instead of accepting one measlty stupid F that’s not even going to stop him from graduating. I don’t knowwhat subject this is so I don’t know is tutoring is he is just lazy, or that it sould take literaly years to catch up.
Oh wait, grades matter for his plans after high school? Guess what, they do to you too! Why the fuck should you jeopardize your (realistic, achievable) college plans for his (at best) laziness or (more likely) insanely naive and stupid plan to go into massive student debt while not knowing any of the relevant high school prerequisites.
He is the one threatening to blow up your friendship, not you. But be aware, there might not be much friendship left underneath all the dependency, entitlement and asymmetry. Tutoring is probably going to cause a lot of mutual resentment. Maybe a clean break would be better.
NTA.
As someone who used to be in college almost three years ago, I can tell you this: That person ISN’T your friend. They might be on a personal basis outside of school, but not on your own future. Think about yourself first, before helping others. And instead of making excuses for their own shortcomings because it’s easier to cheat than putting actual effort into the future, how much did they benefit from you during tests/exams?
During exam time, ask your teacher if you could switch seats if they suspect you cheating. Tell your teacher the truth, tell your parents the truth first of all. And if that doesn’t help, we’ll screw the friendship. You’re still YEARS away to make bad decisions and constantly worrying about people who you fleetingly have a friendship with.
Once you reach University, you have different problems to worry about and knowing that your stress goes to one single person makes it harder for you to move on.
TLDR: Screw them. Do your own thing and find a better friend.
>During exam time, ask your teacher if you could switch seats if they suspect you cheating
It’s ridiculous that the teacher isn’t doing this anyway since they’ve already been accused of cheating.
Look, this kid has not been your friend for a long damn time. Definitely prior to academia becoming your main focus. I know that you don’t want him to fail, but in saving him, you are letting yourself drown. Maybe go back to the teacher and ask them to implement a seating chart for tests and have your mooch seated away from you, that way the teacher will know who is actually doing the work.
You are NTA, however you need to start putting yourself first academically, especially if you want to get into a good school when you finish. And maybe once you’ve finished high school and before you leave for college/university, strongly think about putting him in the, “someone who I used to know”, group. He isn’t adding to your life, he is going to keep taking from you and keeping you right beside him going nowhere fast.
NTA. The teacher has warned you she knows what was going on. It’s your cue to end it and consider yourself lucky to a degree you got away with it up to this point.
It’s over. He’s s.o.l. and it isn’t even an option anymore.
YTA for letting him gaslight you into letting him cheat all these years. Why do you think this is okay? You aren’t doing your friend any favors. He has learned he can use and manipulate people and you have been his accomplice in reinforcing dishonest behavior.
The teacher is onto the both of you. Your teacher knows you let him cheat off of you and has most likely lost respect for you, which is likely going to affect your own grades and evaluations. Letting someone cheat off of you shows a huge lack of character and bad judgment on your part.
“I think we should just study and help him get through a test on his own for once” It’s a bit LATE, don’t you think? You are in your senior year. You should have done this 6 years ago.
NTA for refusing to let your friend cheat off your test but still the AH for not stopping it earlier.
NTA.
Now strategy.
Talk to your teacher, they already beleve their is cheating. You should be separated during tests. I am surprised they didn’t do that already. Separating best friends during tests was the default when I was in school.
If you need a reason to give the teacher that isn’t throwing your friend under the bus, you study together a lot, so you have a very similar understanding of the material. You want separation to remove the appearance of impropriety. Your teacher will know exactly what is going on, and almost all teachers would agree to the request.
if your not comfortable talking to the teacher yourself, have your parent do it.
Do you realise that by allowing him to copy your tests you’re complicit in his academic fraud? If you guys get caught, you will both suffer the consequences even if he’s the one copying. **You’re both cheating.**
ESH.