On mobile and first time posting to this sub! I will try and be as objective with my description as possible and please let me know aitbh?
I went to a community production (tickets were 30 USD and most of the cast were kids) of The Nutcracker in my small town on Sunday midday. I have very kinky, curly, dense hair which is naturally and afro. It takes a minimum of an hour for me to braid, which I didn’t have time to do prior to the production. I am 5’2" and my afro is about 3" (I just took a tape measure to it).
I was a little concerned about the people behind as we arrived at the ballet, but my SO assured me that my hair was fine. We took our seats with a family of three behind us.
We were at the end of the row. There was a small child behind us in the aisle (the seating was staggered), a woman behind my SO, and another small child (maybe 8?) behind me. Before the ballet started the small children were given booster seats. Then the women loudly commented that "if the person in front of you didn’t have such big hair you would be able to see." A few minutes later she made a similar loud comment which I also ignored, thinking that if it was really such a problem she could switch seats with one of the children (she was taller than me).
Other notes:
The ballet started and she talked with the kids off and on during the first act. At the intermission I only noticed one other POC in the audience of 400 or so.
Am I the bumhole?
Tldr: Went to the Nutcracker with my 3" afro someone behind me complained it blocked the view
NTA. You can’t exactly remove your hair. If you had been wearing a tall hat and refused to remove it, that’d be another thing, but your situation seems closer to someone complaining because the person in front of them was “too tall”.
NTA. Sometimes you get stuck sitting behind someone who is 6’ 5”, sometimes you get stuck sitting behind someone who has an Afro. That’s just life.
NTA – imagine if you were even taller without having an afro? she would have been complaining then too
NTA. Guarantee she wouldn’t have been saying that to a white lady with too much hairspray in.
As a 6’1” white woman who likes big hair and lots of hairspray, I can confirm this. No one has ever complained about me blocking their view. I’ve heard children say they can’t see, but no one has ever made it personal. The woman behind OP was overtly racist. That behavior l sucks.
Oh, I love the parents that complain but do nothing to solve the situation. And 3 inches is nothing. Like you said, if it was that big of a deal she could have switched with them. You’re definitely not the bumhole. NTA
NTA. You’re 5’5” with the afro. If you had switched seats with your SO the child also wouldn’t have been able to see. She sounds low key racist but it’s hard to say definitively.
NTA. The 5’5 detail (hair included) is everything anyone needs to know. Taller people sit in front of shorter people all the time, and you’re short or average even with your hair height.
She thought you shouldn’t be there, probably without realizing that’s the thought she was having, and she felt like she had the authority to tell you what to do. Good for you for ignoring her.
NTA, she was being racist.
NTA, I get that kids have trouble seeing at things like that but I’ve never understood why people complain about people sitting in front of them. A small child can’t see in a crowded auditorium/stadium etc with anyone sitting in front of them, that’s fact. There’s not a lot the rest of us can do. You’re not that tall and your hair doesn’t sound that big.
If you were 7′ tall and wearing a Stetson to the Nutcracker then yeah YTA but you were just doing normal people things.
NTA. If this were the 80s, no one would have been seeing over my crusty ass hair. Your 3 inch natural hair isn’t a problem, but her micro-aggressions sure are.
NTA
When I read the title, I was thinking you had a very large afro, but 3 inch hair? No. Especially considering your height. That takes you to about 5’5, which is a bit above average for a woman, but below average for a man, meaning almost any other adult sitting there would have blocked the kid’s view.
NTA. There could have been a bald person 6’3″ tall in that seat and the view of the person behind would have been even more blocked. Some people just like to complain. To hell with those people.
NTA. 3” is still shorter than if someone did a twist with a clip, and your height means the top of your hair was still lower than a lot of people when they’re sitting down or shorter than someone’s white grandma that gets their hair set at the salon every week. You did no wrong, that person is racist.