I should say that I had a relationship with this person that went horribly as i hurt them greatly and gave them alot of trauma while also making existing trauma they had worse. Also for context keep me in mind they said this while in a state of pain recalling the trauma.
They mentioned that If I cared about my mother i wouldnt have had represnted her way of raising me so poorly due to my actions. Which in heinsight I agree with but i reacted defensivly saying my mother is not to blame for my fuck ups and me turning out the way I did as she did her best to treat me right and always told me to not play with girls feelings and treat them right. I said that ik ive hurt this but that I think them saying that is wrong as my mother is innocent from my own wrong doings. After a while stuff esclated into them saying more directly insulting things about her which really hurt me so i continued reacting that way. Then after i was threatened (ik this person might say these threats but they wouldnt actually follow through with them despite what i put them through). They also said i was upsetting them .Then i said ill just shut up. After this they took the "switch up "in my attitude as proof i never cared about them and also that me as a person i took them saying some stuff about my mother in the past just because I wanted to be with them and that i only switched up because I know I no longer have a chance. As in the past i agreed to tell my mother the ways i hurt this person in the past knowing it would hurt my mother especially confidering that we live in a very conservative country. They said this proves that i was only willing to tell my mother these things because I wanted to hit and not because I cared about them.it feels frustrating to have this image projected eventho if ik for a fact that it isnt why did these things and i know for a fact that i did love them. I know that this person was in a state of pain so i empathise with that, should i have stayed quite amd addressed it later at a better time? Was it careless to react the way i did?
And when i say hurt them i mean long term mental damage and trauma not just regular relationships hurt.
YTA. You hurt someone. You don’t get to dictate how they deal with that. As long as they aren’t reaching out to your mother directly to harm her too, you’re wrong, let it be.
YTA for not doing paragraphs breaks.