Hello, I (29M) think this may just be a communication issue, but wanted to get another perspective. I live in a house with a couple who is engaged (I’ve known them and have been close with them for over ten years). They are very kind people who have allowed me to stay here for very little rent for a year lease that we are a few months into (I’ve been in a bit of a bind, I am going through some intense medical treatment that has me unable to do my job often enough for steady income), so I try to be as considerate as I possibly can; I keep the kitchen and dishes clean daily, I keep my things organized, and contribute to various household things as I can.
Recently, one of my roommates was having their parents over for dinner and I offered to clear out for the night to give them some family privacy. They agreed, and then asked that I hide all of my bathroom products that are on the counter (toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, facial cleanser, waterpik, etc.) in preparation. I was confused and a little hurt at first since I have asked a few times if there was anything I could do to make my stay here easier for them and have received nothing but positive feedback. Now I’m thinking I may be kind of a dick for leaving things out in the bathroom (never in an unclean way, I wipe down the counter as often as necessary and have jars to keep things organized). There’s very limited under sink storage, so I won’t be able to keep my daily things there long term. AITA for using the counter in that bathroom the way I have been?
I think they’re asking you to move it just while you’re cleared out for the night and they have a visitor so that their parents can set up their stuff on that counter while they’re there. It sounds like you’ve been fine the time you’ve been there and they haven’t had an issue with it when they haven’t had guests so I think you’ve gotten into your head.
NAH.
Agree that they just mean for this night/guest, not on a regular basis. You sound very considerate of them
I don’t think the parents are spending the night just coming over for dinner.
But even my partner and I will clean/clear off the bathroom of stuff we leave out when we have company over.
Leaving things out on a day to today basis is fine but we try to tidy it up with company expected.
NAH. They just want it to look nice for the night. You can put your stuff back when you get back home.
NAH
When my parents come to visit is when the house gets the best clean. And the only time the guest towels get folded nicely. I don’t think my parents necessarily care, but I still do it for them.
If your bathroom is the main guest bathroom the parents will be using, they would likely want to clean it and prepare it, and may not want to handle your items to complete that task. It’s a politeness to you also.
NTA but I’m assuming your bathroom is one that they also use for guests so they just wanted it to look nice while they were over. You can always discuss this with them just to clarify. I recommend in general keeping mouth stuff off the counter and in a closed cabinet to avoid them getting contaminated. Toilet particles do get places even with a closed lid or just having people wash their hands near your brush is a bit nasty. I’ve noticed I don’t get sick as often since doing so. Just my 2 cents but you do you.
It sounds like they are ok with the day to day but in this special circumstance they (for whatever reason) would prefer your staying there to not be obvious. Maybe their parents are overbearing and would try to convince them they gave you a sweetheart deal and are being taken advantage of. Maybe they (as adults in a lease situation) don’t care to justify it or argue about it. I think you are reading too much into it and should treat this as a result of their parents’ presence and not any statement on their satisfaction with the regular routine. NTA.
NAH—I really do think this is just a miscommunication. I think they don’t mind it in general, just with the family coming to visit they’re gonna need counter space for the guests stuff.
You sound like a really considerate roommate (a flat out dream come true compared to most of the ‘roommates’ we see here). I think they just wanted you to move the stuff so the guests have a bit more room.
You’re fine, and I don’t think theres any animosity there, just a quick request for special circumstances.
My bathroom is also the guest bathroom. When I have company over, I just put stuff away (out of sight). Usually that just means moving it to my room temporarily until the guests are gone. I also take my everyday towels out of the bathroom and put in the fancy guest towels. As soon as guests are gone, everything goes back to the way it was. If your roommates thought you were a slob or inconsiderate, they probably would have said something. You’re reading to much into it. NAH
NAH?
Likely haven’t mentioned they’re taking you in and it could lead to questions?
NTA in this situation but YTA to yourself for way over thinking this. Everyone wants the house to look nice when the parents come to visit. You can be as tidy as can be but still have a bit of clutter. If you’re worried you can get a little caddy basket to ferry your stuff back and forth but it’s probably not necessary.
Im guessing you’re feeling a little insecure and needlessly guilty for even needing their help with a place to live in the first place and it’s all bubbling over a bit. Take a deep breath, remember we all need help sometimes and maybe some time in the future you will be able to return the favor. Give yourself a hug from me!
I clear my personal things of the counter of my own bathroom when I have guests, just because that’s what you do. The same reason you clear the clutter off your kitchen counter.
NTA and you are WAY overthinking this
NAH. They are having company. I live with my parents, when company comes, all my daily stuff gets put away.
NTA but you’re overthinking this. Even in our home we put away our toothbrushes and anything on the counter when there is a chance someone might use our bathroom. When I had an apartment I always put all of those things away before my friends came over. When my husband lived with his parents, his bathroom was the only one on the first floor so anytime they had company over he was in the habit of doing the same.
Your friends weren’t trying to send some deeper message about you or your cleanliness. They were just wanting to do some general tidying of any spaces guests might see before they arrives.